Texts From Last Night

migulrocks's Favorites Texts:

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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.

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  (985): I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies. http://tfl.nu/mtcu
  Replies (50) Good night (6369) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick

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  (727): Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick http://tfl.nu/5e6v
  Replies (17) Good night (805) Bad night (9607) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS

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  (917): Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS http://tfl.nu/k9df
  Replies (97) Good night (1354) Bad night (7294) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

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  (352): I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way. http://tfl.nu/qonl
  Replies (34) Good night (5615) Bad night (1880) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  gross she's a slut

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  yea she doesn't shave either

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  (612): dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear (952): gross she's a slut (612): yea she doesn't shave either http://tfl.nu/93ck
  Replies (30) Good night (531) Bad night (3758)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.

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  (270): I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/gibq
  Replies (12) Good night (926) Bad night (4691)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

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  (303): He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk! http://tfl.nu/z1cd
  Replies (27) Good night (8777) Bad night (3733) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.

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  (513): i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure. http://tfl.nu/ruyi
  Replies (10) Good night (5580) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.

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  (724): after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger. http://tfl.nu/1s95
  Replies (45) Good night (1043) Bad night (14795) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

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  (732): there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts. http://tfl.nu/wlt6
  Replies (48) Good night (7170) Bad night (1697) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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  (228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk
  Replies (50) Good night (10111) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.

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  (313): i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small. http://tfl.nu/i072
  Replies (47) Good night (3987) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

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  (314): Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there. http://tfl.nu/ndt3
  Replies (24) Good night (4692) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

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  (401): you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck http://tfl.nu/4wd4
  Replies (28) Good night (5460) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  dude are you serious?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I know you already have a pic on your phone

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  (978): Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave (617): dude are you serious? (978): I know you already have a pic on your phone http://tfl.nu/k6lt
  Replies (95) Good night (2212) Bad night (2793)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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  (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. http://tfl.nu/zho9
  Replies (208) Good night (49126) Bad night (2153) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds

  (404): View more from Georgia

  She started it, but I totally finished it.

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  (404): A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds (404): She started it, but I totally finished it. http://tfl.nu/luqt
  Replies (6) Good night (3232) Bad night (328)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Boobs. All I remember is boobs.

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  (361): Boobs. All I remember is boobs. http://tfl.nu/ewyu
  Replies (9) Good night (5218) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  whatd she say to you?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle

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  (256): my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table (1-256): whatd she say to you? (256): no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle http://tfl.nu/mg7u
  Replies (60) Good night (1652) Bad night (7921)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so horny!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so hungry

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  For your pussy...

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  (508): I'm so horny! (781): I'm so hungry (508): WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY! (781): For your pussy... http://tfl.nu/7j50
  Replies (63) Good night (22925) Bad night (1208)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

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  (440): You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music http://tfl.nu/f2pv
  Replies (48) Good night (16987) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.

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  (404): I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head. http://tfl.nu/lfdj
  Replies (103) Good night (17058) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (816) Good night (136712) Bad night (8408) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina

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  (763): i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina http://tfl.nu/awuu
  Replies (30) Good night (679) Bad night (7384) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

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  (662): Stop introducing me to people as your little sister. (1-662): I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother. http://tfl.nu/5xkr
  Replies (31) Good night (7482) Bad night (1144) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".

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  (703): As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake". http://tfl.nu/w0jz
  Replies (77) Good night (17719) Bad night (2149) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ill be there in 5.

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  (812): through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife. (847): ill be there in 5. http://tfl.nu/y9p2
  Replies (26) Good night (8323) Bad night (694)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  :)

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wipe that smile off your face.

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  (410): :) (443): Wipe that smile off your face. http://tfl.nu/iqow
  Replies (27) Good night (5776) Bad night (490)
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  (530): View more from California

  You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.

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  (530): You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger. http://tfl.nu/azyx
  Replies (8) Good night (1001) Bad night (5491) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better

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  (610): So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better http://tfl.nu/c25s
  Replies (53) Good night (484) Bad night (6126) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.

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  (479): Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody. http://tfl.nu/gh8f
  Replies (17) Good night (6877) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?

  (904): View more from Florida

  Both

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  (954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you? (904): Both http://tfl.nu/7q6w
  Replies (18) Good night (5778) Bad night (438)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hannah Montana > iCarly

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely

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  (847): Hannah Montana > iCarly (309): I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely http://tfl.nu/uzzz
  Replies (49) Good night (1097) Bad night (4891)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis

  (757): View more from Virginia

  your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.

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  (443): Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis (757): your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though. http://tfl.nu/xhh4
  Replies (46) Good night (5180) Bad night (1725)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.

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  (330): theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that. http://tfl.nu/wccj
  Replies (11) Good night (5068) Bad night (2043) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

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  (618): So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in. http://tfl.nu/s63a
  Replies (39) Good night (3881) Bad night (5006) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.

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  (760): She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/eh4f
  Replies (30) Good night (7229) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Maybe my heart is located in my vagina

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  (408): Maybe my heart is located in my vagina http://tfl.nu/huf2
  Replies (18) Good night (5065) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...

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  (718): you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water... http://tfl.nu/djs2
  Replies (43) Good night (1227) Bad night (6220) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

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  (360): I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something... http://tfl.nu/7h7f
  Replies (21) Good night (6712) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

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  (510): stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work http://tfl.nu/9l6e
  Replies (20) Good night (6896) Bad night (1222) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

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  (504): I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna. http://tfl.nu/vetf
  Replies (42) Good night (1993) Bad night (6850)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

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  (434): ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl http://tfl.nu/vx26
  Replies (8) Good night (2659) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.

  (512): View more from Texas

  babe, don't say it like that!

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.

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  (713): I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight. (512): babe, don't say it like that! (713): I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening. http://tfl.nu/iuma
  Replies (137) Good night (36757) Bad night (1052)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (349) Good night (55359) Bad night (6455) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

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  (215): these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real http://tfl.nu/vc07
  Replies (62) Good night (7539) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.

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  (972): So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale. http://tfl.nu/iff3
  Replies (26) Good night (351) Bad night (3377) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"

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  (330): you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now" http://tfl.nu/lsq6
  Replies (30) Good night (1798) Bad night (4486) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  you dont need a face to have sex

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  (630): shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh. (1-630): you dont need a face to have sex http://tfl.nu/3vud
  Replies (44) Good night (4258) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over

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  (718): all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over http://tfl.nu/ocfj
  Replies (14) Good night (7089) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.

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  (360): It feels like Jesse James cheated on America. http://tfl.nu/twcl
  Replies (22) Good night (3876) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.

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  (509): I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man. http://tfl.nu/1swk
  Replies (35) Good night (8508) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness

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  (480): I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness http://tfl.nu/10ex
  Replies (5) Good night (4734) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee

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  (410): She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee http://tfl.nu/dwkb
  Replies (20) Good night (883) Bad night (3327) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.

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  (931): Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex. http://tfl.nu/p49h
  Replies (46) Good night (13655) Bad night (1700) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs

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  (308): and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs http://tfl.nu/sqwd
  Replies (32) Good night (9599) Bad night (1519) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.

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  (937): He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face. http://tfl.nu/s86z
  Replies (46) Good night (5651) Bad night (8276) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  How am I a tease?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.

  (813): View more from Florida

  ONLY PART OF IT.

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  (813): How am I a tease? (1-813): Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away. (813): ONLY PART OF IT. http://tfl.nu/b7xa
  Replies (44) Good night (7972) Bad night (1298)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?

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  (847): Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden? http://tfl.nu/x4ab
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"

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  (978): please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker" http://tfl.nu/kgaf
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