What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
