Texts From Last Night

thizgrL's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.

  (415): View more from California

  That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter. (415): That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere. http://tfl.nu/8y5r
  Replies (11) Good night (1797) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/8d0r
  Replies (8) Good night (1283) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/ibp9
  Replies (17) Good night (3079) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own. http://tfl.nu/ehgs
  Replies (4) Good night (2485) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me. http://tfl.nu/zr5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1317) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke." http://tfl.nu/posr
  Replies (5) Good night (1845) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy. http://tfl.nu/cio1
  Replies (6) Good night (1521) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here? http://tfl.nu/9sbn
  Replies (2) Good night (993) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes. 

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.  http://tfl.nu/b2xf
  Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz
  Replies (10) Good night (3836) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx
  Replies (20) Good night (3230) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors http://tfl.nu/1c0w
  Replies (7) Good night (1846) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign http://tfl.nu/pss1
  Replies (6) Good night (1446) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like http://tfl.nu/fep0
  Replies (19) Good night (3217) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate. http://tfl.nu/jnzf
  Replies (10) Good night (2451) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s http://tfl.nu/9pu3
  Replies (13) Good night (1186) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You dont lie about slip and slides

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): You dont lie about slip and slides http://tfl.nu/1239
  Replies (9) Good night (1580) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Not my cup of tea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years. (250): Not my cup of tea http://tfl.nu/83fl
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom http://tfl.nu/xude
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin http://tfl.nu/0j6s
  Replies (3) Good night (798) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck http://tfl.nu/xehn
  Replies (2) Good night (2266) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you http://tfl.nu/813g
  Replies (23) Good night (4180) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend http://tfl.nu/09b0
  Replies (8) Good night (2045) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic http://tfl.nu/x558
  Replies (9) Good night (1691) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow? http://tfl.nu/9403
  Replies (5) Good night (1513) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life. http://tfl.nu/gxts
  Replies (2) Good night (1516) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here http://tfl.nu/mh8f
  Replies (4) Good night (2013) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me. http://tfl.nu/5anz
  Replies (2) Good night (693) Bad night (1575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST. http://tfl.nu/xkvr
  Replies (21) Good night (1848) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying http://tfl.nu/xa50
  Replies (7) Good night (604) Bad night (1986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Where the royal fuck are you??

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  The depths of vodka hell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Where the royal fuck are you?? (1-425): The depths of vodka hell. http://tfl.nu/wloy
  Replies (13) Good night (2016) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  You're the worst gay friend ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like? (1-314): You're the worst gay friend ever. http://tfl.nu/4trc
  Replies (2) Good night (1575) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today http://tfl.nu/bbq7
  Replies (12) Good night (2755) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard. http://tfl.nu/5mz2
  Replies (17) Good night (3157) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few http://tfl.nu/zw2s
  Replies (8) Good night (850) Bad night (1873) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work. http://tfl.nu/815e
  Replies (13) Good night (942) Bad night (2699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (340): I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS http://tfl.nu/sha5
  Replies (8) Good night (1088) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay. http://tfl.nu/7deg
  Replies (5) Good night (1068) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos. http://tfl.nu/qg1c
  Replies (7) Good night (1625) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?! http://tfl.nu/k4mm
  Replies (17) Good night (631) Bad night (3351) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by... http://tfl.nu/g8gw
  Replies (9) Good night (3567) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He was the only guy who ever made me cry..

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): He was the only guy who ever made me cry.. (1-330): Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach? http://tfl.nu/1khh
  Replies (2) Good night (2152) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas. http://tfl.nu/rvqb
  Replies (5) Good night (511) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night" http://tfl.nu/8ia2
  Replies (5) Good night (1360) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that? http://tfl.nu/3r87
  Replies (9) Good night (2781) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult. http://tfl.nu/x3id
  Replies (1) Good night (1489) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate. http://tfl.nu/gets
  Replies (8) Good night (1763) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, that was you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick? (215): Yeah, that was you http://tfl.nu/rydz
  Replies (7) Good night (2726) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say http://tfl.nu/ixst
  Replies (6) Good night (2037) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip. http://tfl.nu/kzaf
  Replies (2) Good night (1782) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away http://tfl.nu/xlij
  Replies (5) Good night (1908) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me. http://tfl.nu/6i2r
  Replies (6) Good night (2410) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas http://tfl.nu/zrzb
  Replies (8) Good night (1338) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (848): Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired. http://tfl.nu/ghfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2125) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012. http://tfl.nu/u0sr
  Replies (3) Good night (1149) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/wjgp
  Replies (10) Good night (641) Bad night (1657)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too http://tfl.nu/3dvb
  Replies (20) Good night (1522) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare http://tfl.nu/ctrq
  Replies (13) Good night (609) Bad night (2108) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun http://tfl.nu/oe4f
  Replies (9) Good night (897) Bad night (1766) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice. (1-623): That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me http://tfl.nu/ei2r
  Replies (8) Good night (2572) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Elaborate

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Strip Mario-Kart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream. (312): Elaborate (224): Strip Mario-Kart http://tfl.nu/xw36
  Replies (11) Good night (2508) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  How do you feel?

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): How do you feel? (1-970): Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again. http://tfl.nu/th8n
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (1350) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  hows the party?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ists fjcssing insceredle

  (913): View more from Kansas

  be there in 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): hows the party? (816): ists fjcssing insceredle (913): be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/innz
  Replies (61) Good night (26650) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars? http://tfl.nu/0mdx
  Replies (56) Good night (26281) Bad night (1541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling. http://tfl.nu/ym3n
  Replies (66) Good night (27380) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home http://tfl.nu/32l0
  Replies (54) Good night (27345) Bad night (2538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (28688) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me http://tfl.nu/ry9s
  Replies (35) Good night (29670) Bad night (1312) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse. http://tfl.nu/nlhf
  Replies (41) Good night (30953) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you? http://tfl.nu/ocb5
  Replies (131) Good night (31817) Bad night (2267) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.

  (512): View more from Texas

  babe, don't say it like that!

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight. (512): babe, don't say it like that! (713): I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening. http://tfl.nu/iuma
  Replies (139) Good night (38606) Bad night (1482)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again http://tfl.nu/470y
  Replies (203) Good night (44796) Bad night (3935) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66809) Bad night (3032) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112388) Bad night (9778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168545) Bad night (42238) Order T-Shirt