Texts From Last Night

WNY36's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death. http://tfl.nu/862e
  Replies (10) Good night (1618) Bad night (3600) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline http://tfl.nu/p67r
  Replies (6) Good night (5172) Bad night (1715) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around http://tfl.nu/e0gz
  Replies (14) Good night (1838) Bad night (5569) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/l4fs
  Replies (46) Good night (9058) Bad night (1699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her http://tfl.nu/iw7s
  Replies (13) Good night (1138) Bad night (3799)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave http://tfl.nu/vjg2
  Replies (33) Good night (9560) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear." http://tfl.nu/uaxy
  Replies (19) Good night (8817) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
  Replies (155) Good night (1773) Bad night (34546) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  no, didnt close...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): no, didnt close... (978): What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic... http://tfl.nu/lkpf
  Replies (13) Good night (705) Bad night (5752)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party http://tfl.nu/47pk
  Replies (33) Good night (11954) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe
  Replies (46) Good night (12576) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.

  (917): View more from New York City

  I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God. (917): I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice. http://tfl.nu/jdh1
  Replies (121) Good night (2758) Bad night (14581)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago. http://tfl.nu/l8io
  Replies (10) Good night (5612) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys. http://tfl.nu/3mjd
  Replies (8) Good night (814) Bad night (5148) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/w8wo
  Replies (18) Good night (5131) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame http://tfl.nu/uj51
  Replies (29) Good night (7578) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.' http://tfl.nu/2fkm
  Replies (17) Good night (9084) Bad night (1195) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (52) Good night (68156) Bad night (1686) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line http://tfl.nu/rmxl
  Replies (51) Good night (9946) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Who was that guy you went home with?

  (1-714): View more from California

  Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Who was that guy you went home with? (1-714): Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now. http://tfl.nu/q2tl
  Replies (45) Good night (6268) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing. http://tfl.nu/gzcy
  Replies (26) Good night (13105) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  how much adderall did you take today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted (1-215): how much adderall did you take today? http://tfl.nu/wkg3
  Replies (13) Good night (5015) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message. http://tfl.nu/jwe9
  Replies (19) Good night (9149) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v
  Replies (27) Good night (8230) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it. http://tfl.nu/1896
  Replies (22) Good night (648) Bad night (7979) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy (1-713): well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE" http://tfl.nu/3bep
  Replies (11) Good night (973) Bad night (4291) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove. http://tfl.nu/qfpc
  Replies (11) Good night (4034) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  i perioded on his leg

  (714): View more from California

  on. his. leg.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): i perioded on his leg (714): on. his. leg. http://tfl.nu/sr0m
  Replies (49) Good night (864) Bad night (10235)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve. http://tfl.nu/bc9v
  Replies (18) Good night (932) Bad night (6411) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early. http://tfl.nu/8f7a
  Replies (17) Good night (6269) Bad night (1608)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on. http://tfl.nu/8n2e
  Replies (15) Good night (5360) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist. http://tfl.nu/jqdb
  Replies (18) Good night (5042) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works. http://tfl.nu/ca8d
  Replies (4) Good night (5439) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore. http://tfl.nu/4nio
  Replies (9) Good night (1257) Bad night (4284) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?

  (914): View more from New York

  you mean faeutihaers?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night? (914): you mean faeutihaers? http://tfl.nu/mcba
  Replies (34) Good night (10150) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids. http://tfl.nu/zjz8
  Replies (6) Good night (7166) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out. http://tfl.nu/s711
  Replies (21) Good night (1107) Bad night (7119) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  probs a good idea

  (207): View more from Maine

  i like the whole idea of life and being alive

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  you sure you're not high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea (1-207): probs a good idea (207): i like the whole idea of life and being alive (1-207): you sure you're not high? http://tfl.nu/e7l1
  Replies (29) Good night (5483) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out" http://tfl.nu/fktd
  Replies (33) Good night (12540) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/xhhe
  Replies (25) Good night (795) Bad night (5955) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class. http://tfl.nu/j3lm
  Replies (12) Good night (4163) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you. http://tfl.nu/6q4j
  Replies (14) Good night (8869) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls. http://tfl.nu/57re
  Replies (23) Good night (7942) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks. http://tfl.nu/2sae
  Replies (17) Good night (12019) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in http://tfl.nu/qgu1
  Replies (12) Good night (4633) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her. http://tfl.nu/4z7e
  Replies (12) Good night (4339) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  how high are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos? (828): how high are you? http://tfl.nu/9z76
  Replies (59) Good night (11569) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life. http://tfl.nu/71wd
  Replies (25) Good night (12287) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to." http://tfl.nu/qnhd
  Replies (16) Good night (1561) Bad night (5251) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day. http://tfl.nu/k8ur
  Replies (15) Good night (8429) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was http://tfl.nu/iq7q
  Replies (54) Good night (15851) Bad night (1586) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed http://tfl.nu/xgm0
  Replies (43) Good night (1662) Bad night (13474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication http://tfl.nu/40rd
  Replies (16) Good night (8635) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account. http://tfl.nu/m8a3
  Replies (65) Good night (1164) Bad night (18745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it" http://tfl.nu/q1ud
  Replies (49) Good night (1876) Bad night (8960) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3. http://tfl.nu/k38v
  Replies (38) Good night (14247) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (+65): View more from

  He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+65): He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay? http://tfl.nu/afe2
  Replies (54) Good night (6438) Bad night (1947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  How am I a tease?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.

  (813): View more from Florida

  ONLY PART OF IT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): How am I a tease? (1-813): Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away. (813): ONLY PART OF IT. http://tfl.nu/b7xa
  Replies (44) Good night (7972) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy." http://tfl.nu/262w
  Replies (21) Good night (6295) Bad night (1232) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah. http://tfl.nu/uiae
  Replies (12) Good night (4149) Bad night (1097) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow. http://tfl.nu/8b4m
  Replies (13) Good night (8291) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore http://tfl.nu/jxvu
  Replies (17) Good night (2036) Bad night (5952) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed. http://tfl.nu/9lg8
  Replies (23) Good night (1755) Bad night (6351) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/zo0y
  Replies (17) Good night (6964) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me. http://tfl.nu/3ypx
  Replies (27) Good night (844) Bad night (10855)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart? http://tfl.nu/us70
  Replies (22) Good night (1130) Bad night (5420) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You love me.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  That's because, tragically, I adore whores.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): You love me. (785): That's because, tragically, I adore whores. http://tfl.nu/7eph
  Replies (29) Good night (7631) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux http://tfl.nu/x72r
  Replies (13) Good night (7370) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee (1-440): please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation http://tfl.nu/gydk
  Replies (78) Good night (5844) Bad night (6397) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  and...?

  (936): View more from Texas

  I told him it was alright.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him. (812): and...? (936): I told him it was alright. http://tfl.nu/yirn
  Replies (28) Good night (3610) Bad night (5262)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever. http://tfl.nu/uuz9
  Replies (9) Good night (5564) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday. http://tfl.nu/1ia2
  Replies (82) Good night (976) Bad night (4469) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later http://tfl.nu/a02r
  Replies (26) Good night (7294) Bad night (1715) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now. http://tfl.nu/gc18
  Replies (20) Good night (3124) Bad night (5420) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  what you doin?

  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?

  (631): View more from New York

  reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): what you doin? (516): I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you? (631): reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life http://tfl.nu/6c83
  Replies (20) Good night (5188) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued. http://tfl.nu/19hy
  Replies (40) Good night (10638) Bad night (2702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology. http://tfl.nu/sp8t
  Replies (32) Good night (9523) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I love milkshakes.

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat. (1-210): I love milkshakes. (210): Not the point. http://tfl.nu/tb5t
  Replies (19) Good night (4916) Bad night (1092)