Texts From Last Night

zhree1's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.

  (206): View more from Washington

  The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy. (206): The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!! http://tfl.nu/5bns
  Replies (8) Good night (1474) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears. http://tfl.nu/cuw5
  Replies (24) Good night (3714) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  You fucked her?! HER?!

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): You fucked her?! HER?! (1-205): She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir. http://tfl.nu/jld9
  Replies (6) Good night (3153) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it." http://tfl.nu/ssx2
  Replies (10) Good night (1710) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN" http://tfl.nu/vt0o
  Replies (7) Good night (953) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude.. http://tfl.nu/bx2g
  Replies (6) Good night (2449) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.

  (425): View more from Washington

  for sure. did you let him do it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  thats not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship. (425): for sure. did you let him do it? (206): thats not the point. http://tfl.nu/qjrv
  Replies (80) Good night (2176) Bad night (3476)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers. http://tfl.nu/otyu
  Replies (10) Good night (6558) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me http://tfl.nu/lf37
  Replies (8) Good night (4114) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/zo0y
  Replies (17) Good night (6964) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket. http://tfl.nu/jk3k
  Replies (10) Good night (2498) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): He likes bondage and spanking and shit. (508): Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that. http://tfl.nu/4784
  Replies (9) Good night (2797) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not? http://tfl.nu/b1wq
  Replies (47) Good night (4620) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,

  (679): View more from Michigan

  I wanted to be a dolphin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it.., (679): I wanted to be a dolphin. http://tfl.nu/th6t
  Replies (10) Good night (4596) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was" http://tfl.nu/hg14
  Replies (12) Good night (902) Bad night (2345) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face. http://tfl.nu/wypl
  Replies (8) Good night (2829) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something. http://tfl.nu/b077
  Replies (14) Good night (4216) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk http://tfl.nu/b78y
  Replies (13) Good night (1031) Bad night (1268) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Does it taste like semen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it. (214): Does it taste like semen? http://tfl.nu/qasv
  Replies (10) Good night (3836) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it. http://tfl.nu/ahvg
  Replies (7) Good night (2468) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it http://tfl.nu/80uu
  Replies (7) Good night (4551) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door. (215): Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go. http://tfl.nu/76is
  Replies (12) Good night (3417) Bad night (1424)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night. http://tfl.nu/7th0
  Replies (9) Good night (4235) Bad night (1542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour. http://tfl.nu/xxvi
  Replies (38) Good night (11262) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Come find me please? Im in a ditch.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  That doesn't help me much...

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm right under the moon!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch. (1-604): That doesn't help me much... (604): I'm right under the moon! http://tfl.nu/u7hc
  Replies (15) Good night (12987) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar. http://tfl.nu/cp66
  Replies (10) Good night (5815) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it. http://tfl.nu/3d6t
  Replies (14) Good night (4187) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian http://tfl.nu/9eu3
  Replies (29) Good night (6378) Bad night (2405)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face. http://tfl.nu/ins1
  Replies (10) Good night (3831) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair http://tfl.nu/rgwc
  Replies (17) Good night (873) Bad night (4195) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome http://tfl.nu/ey6z
  Replies (11) Good night (4734) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week. http://tfl.nu/ckos
  Replies (8) Good night (3157) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes! (1-859): please elaborate on, "atleast one ear" http://tfl.nu/8j2w
  Replies (19) Good night (6248) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups. http://tfl.nu/xgvv
  Replies (42) Good night (5051) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes http://tfl.nu/crfp
  Replies (15) Good night (1832) Bad night (4108) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/n1jt
  Replies (2) Good night (3392) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?! http://tfl.nu/h7d0
  Replies (19) Good night (7458) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex http://tfl.nu/5t79
  Replies (17) Good night (5433) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat. http://tfl.nu/0ifj
  Replies (9) Good night (3312) Bad night (1445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes http://tfl.nu/11ee
  Replies (13) Good night (1782) Bad night (2695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way. http://tfl.nu/5f04
  Replies (8) Good night (4583) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen.. http://tfl.nu/c7n8
  Replies (14) Good night (5034) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever. http://tfl.nu/q010
  Replies (47) Good night (5751) Bad night (4335) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5
  Replies (15) Good night (6441) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka

  (231): View more from Michigan

  the cocktail of hope

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka (231): the cocktail of hope http://tfl.nu/t9k0
  Replies (20) Good night (4808) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  there were a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld
  Replies (29) Good night (6113) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat http://tfl.nu/m0wi
  Replies (11) Good night (4040) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation. http://tfl.nu/alpd
  Replies (23) Good night (812) Bad night (5345) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  like hot dogs and buns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky (267): like hot dogs and buns. http://tfl.nu/crsi
  Replies (22) Good night (7793) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch http://tfl.nu/sdde
  Replies (13) Good night (4616) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name. http://tfl.nu/27vq
  Replies (15) Good night (5267) Bad night (1471) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam. http://tfl.nu/6oxt
  Replies (17) Good night (3994) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face. http://tfl.nu/ce47
  Replies (74) Good night (1905) Bad night (8512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain' http://tfl.nu/2rma
  Replies (28) Good night (1378) Bad night (7341) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them. http://tfl.nu/jd8a
  Replies (21) Good night (7957) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7
  Replies (62) Good night (18605) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns. http://tfl.nu/xebd
  Replies (56) Good night (12963) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again" http://tfl.nu/ygm1
  Replies (12) Good night (7102) Bad night (1594) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina http://tfl.nu/awuu
  Replies (30) Good night (679) Bad night (7385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis". http://tfl.nu/fly1
  Replies (39) Good night (7482) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it. http://tfl.nu/064r
  Replies (13) Good night (6004) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking." http://tfl.nu/oftj
  Replies (17) Good night (7400) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it. http://tfl.nu/pgco
  Replies (13) Good night (6461) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom http://tfl.nu/66s8
  Replies (32) Good night (1392) Bad night (4520) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand. http://tfl.nu/h0pi
  Replies (27) Good night (590) Bad night (5569) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later" http://tfl.nu/lryz
  Replies (19) Good night (9815) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas http://tfl.nu/fkrh
  Replies (27) Good night (5704) Bad night (2078) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that. http://tfl.nu/w7w8
  Replies (18) Good night (1778) Bad night (6258) Order T-Shirt