Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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