Texts From Last Night

akcreeper's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it. http://tfl.nu/0ggm
  Replies (37) Good night (12489) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants. http://tfl.nu/tdj1
  Replies (13) Good night (4991) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course. http://tfl.nu/y9iu
  Replies (54) Good night (15092) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day. http://tfl.nu/pq24
  Replies (12) Good night (6980) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"? http://tfl.nu/n06e
  Replies (15) Good night (6325) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun? http://tfl.nu/ilq6
  Replies (3) Good night (2575) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt. http://tfl.nu/2jv4
  Replies (10) Good night (6426) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings. http://tfl.nu/xbcs
  Replies (11) Good night (8460) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight. http://tfl.nu/qr87
  Replies (20) Good night (8930) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now. http://tfl.nu/xddc
  Replies (17) Good night (10962) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour. http://tfl.nu/xxvi
  Replies (38) Good night (11262) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Come find me please? Im in a ditch.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  That doesn't help me much...

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm right under the moon!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch. (1-604): That doesn't help me much... (604): I'm right under the moon! http://tfl.nu/u7hc
  Replies (15) Good night (12987) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (48) Good night (18690) Bad night (1653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net. http://tfl.nu/ybxr
  Replies (11) Good night (3640) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face. http://tfl.nu/ozn3
  Replies (39) Good night (1152) Bad night (6107) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face http://tfl.nu/9y4h
  Replies (53) Good night (20591) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever http://tfl.nu/gvxq
  Replies (21) Good night (9982) Bad night (1541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (292) Good night (69182) Bad night (1983) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location http://tfl.nu/jdkq
  Replies (16) Good night (8820) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms http://tfl.nu/3xwg
  Replies (2) Good night (3269) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors. http://tfl.nu/cath
  Replies (10) Good night (10510) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (816) Good night (136703) Bad night (8407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College." http://tfl.nu/3hlg
  Replies (11) Good night (7790) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be. http://tfl.nu/j7k8
  Replies (16) Good night (4524) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready' http://tfl.nu/8jmk
  Replies (17) Good night (3495) Bad night (1350) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca http://tfl.nu/k60q
  Replies (19) Good night (1007) Bad night (6592) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts. http://tfl.nu/wlt6
  Replies (48) Good night (7170) Bad night (1696) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance http://tfl.nu/iqmo
  Replies (17) Good night (4997) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this" http://tfl.nu/g0yg
  Replies (9) Good night (1759) Bad night (6024)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out http://tfl.nu/0mnv
  Replies (13) Good night (8281) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3
  Replies (23) Good night (11259) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant." http://tfl.nu/1fxo
  Replies (8) Good night (5342) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient. http://tfl.nu/9tdu
  Replies (19) Good night (853) Bad night (6175) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel. http://tfl.nu/te56
  Replies (10) Good night (6246) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place http://tfl.nu/sgjx
  Replies (29) Good night (11769) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused. http://tfl.nu/sovs
  Replies (100) Good night (943) Bad night (5699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think. http://tfl.nu/cvjv
  Replies (16) Good night (3962) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  operation harelip BJ is a go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): operation harelip BJ is a go http://tfl.nu/cnub
  Replies (36) Good night (818) Bad night (3713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08
  Replies (52) Good night (10134) Bad night (1210) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up. http://tfl.nu/3bej
  Replies (33) Good night (4071) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight? (1-814): I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me. http://tfl.nu/ovto
  Replies (25) Good night (4431) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks http://tfl.nu/c3vj
  Replies (49) Good night (4106) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke http://tfl.nu/3o1y
  Replies (50) Good night (942) Bad night (2509) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers http://tfl.nu/65ag
  Replies (8) Good night (4384) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana. http://tfl.nu/g8b3
  Replies (24) Good night (1582) Bad night (6351) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper http://tfl.nu/mqbh
  Replies (13) Good night (4971) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6197) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining http://tfl.nu/2n0l
  Replies (11) Good night (5690) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth http://tfl.nu/7fqn
  Replies (9) Good night (4564) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls. http://tfl.nu/m95d
  Replies (8) Good night (5488) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing." http://tfl.nu/7ght
  Replies (16) Good night (5306) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends http://tfl.nu/5yet
  Replies (77) Good night (7217) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world http://tfl.nu/83f8
  Replies (36) Good night (6976) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting. http://tfl.nu/3kvl
  Replies (26) Good night (787) Bad night (5083) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up... http://tfl.nu/b9ou
  Replies (55) Good night (5854) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge. http://tfl.nu/kztm
  Replies (35) Good night (591) Bad night (4085)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight. http://tfl.nu/18md
  Replies (83) Good night (13167) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time http://tfl.nu/1urp
  Replies (40) Good night (6376) Bad night (1363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (285) Good night (60321) Bad night (3668)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked http://tfl.nu/nh0r
  Replies (67) Good night (11630) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (130) Good night (57781) Bad night (1338) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it. http://tfl.nu/bdg5
  Replies (34) Good night (10271) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing. http://tfl.nu/rrc8
  Replies (76) Good night (41852) Bad night (1332) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed http://tfl.nu/6hho
  Replies (17) Good night (6543) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better http://tfl.nu/58yp
  Replies (31) Good night (5338) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave http://tfl.nu/vjg2
  Replies (33) Good night (9560) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt
  Replies (55) Good night (12901) Bad night (4751)