Texts From Last Night

JWynn57's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children http://tfl.nu/7xpu
  Replies (6) Good night (4227) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea. (717): OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED. http://tfl.nu/n4s9
  Replies (7) Good night (3171) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/g7ht
  Replies (6) Good night (3396) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator. http://tfl.nu/ju6d
  Replies (70) Good night (1189) Bad night (8021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Home?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus? (912): Home? http://tfl.nu/7r1y
  Replies (2) Good night (2111) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note http://tfl.nu/2uyq
  Replies (5) Good night (4096) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people. http://tfl.nu/uumz
  Replies (24) Good night (5866) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk

  (813): View more from Florida

  Crosswalk actually

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk (813): Crosswalk actually http://tfl.nu/wtpi
  Replies (3) Good night (1360) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  69 |D_O

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  wtf does that mean??

  (602): View more from Arizona

  it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): 69 |D_O (1-602): wtf does that mean?? (602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently" http://tfl.nu/6ega
  Replies (59) Good night (7238) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  DRUNK CANOEING

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Please text me if you survive.

  (207): View more from Maine

  LAND HO BITCH

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): DRUNK CANOEING (804): Please text me if you survive. (207): LAND HO BITCH http://tfl.nu/6y3l
  Replies (27) Good night (9981) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life. http://tfl.nu/df5q
  Replies (11) Good night (909) Bad night (3009)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I think we should see other people.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Already working on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I think we should see other people. (1-207): Already working on it. http://tfl.nu/a8l6
  Replies (12) Good night (5793) Bad night (1464) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (289): Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger. http://tfl.nu/9mbe
  Replies (17) Good night (5219) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy? http://tfl.nu/swws
  Replies (17) Good night (5219) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting. http://tfl.nu/gm65
  Replies (7) Good night (2557) Bad night (996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday? http://tfl.nu/s08h
  Replies (5) Good night (1992) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out http://tfl.nu/g5nx
  Replies (9) Good night (4167) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap" http://tfl.nu/nk79
  Replies (6) Good night (3749) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Hopefully she would park on my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there. (1-919): Hopefully she would park on my face. http://tfl.nu/4722
  Replies (21) Good night (6139) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism http://tfl.nu/00o3
  Replies (4) Good night (2738) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur". http://tfl.nu/3gb4
  Replies (8) Good night (2348) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances," http://tfl.nu/u663
  Replies (83) Good night (3459) Bad night (2700) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva". http://tfl.nu/2q86
  Replies (25) Good night (4676) Bad night (1703) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes

  (905): View more from Ontario

  You're fat. Stop making excuses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes (905): You're fat. Stop making excuses http://tfl.nu/rdmk
  Replies (70) Good night (13018) Bad night (5279)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him http://tfl.nu/busx
  Replies (14) Good night (5730) Bad night (1381) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  What color are my eyes?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Ummmm... 34 C?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): What color are my eyes? (1-519): Ummmm... 34 C? http://tfl.nu/3v5v
  Replies (14) Good night (11436) Bad night (1155) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's wrong?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): What's wrong? (1-503): Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans. (503): Pussy. http://tfl.nu/sltt
  Replies (18) Good night (776) Bad night (2129)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab http://tfl.nu/z45l
  Replies (20) Good night (4201) Bad night (1363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You feel like going out tonight?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): You feel like going out tonight? (1-212): Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle http://tfl.nu/d3o1
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter... http://tfl.nu/rvqi
  Replies (24) Good night (5368) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  fucking a dude

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i mean: fucking a, dude

  (703): View more from Virginia

  wow, that comma made all the difference there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): fucking a dude (703): i mean: fucking a, dude (703): wow, that comma made all the difference there http://tfl.nu/2m4f
  Replies (93) Good night (11073) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz http://tfl.nu/sutg
  Replies (87) Good night (15796) Bad night (2760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school http://tfl.nu/4t6a
  Replies (10) Good night (2205) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up. http://tfl.nu/ymie
  Replies (20) Good night (919) Bad night (3797) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7 http://tfl.nu/lyiq
  Replies (3) Good night (2529) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it http://tfl.nu/3wsm
  Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (2579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  What did you cook with whisky?

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We started a fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky. (1-306): What did you cook with whisky? (306): We started a fire. http://tfl.nu/4y3v
  Replies (11) Good night (5827) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME http://tfl.nu/4k9l
  Replies (15) Good night (4369) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck. http://tfl.nu/e2r4
  Replies (11) Good night (732) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo http://tfl.nu/rg6x
  Replies (36) Good night (5915) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen. http://tfl.nu/qqp8
  Replies (8) Good night (3594) Bad night (1335) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  Well... I doubt that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them. (1-859): Well... I doubt that. http://tfl.nu/5uw1
  Replies (25) Good night (1284) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we need ur ladder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume (612): we need ur ladder http://tfl.nu/n9qh
  Replies (19) Good night (7016) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that. http://tfl.nu/dpbh
  Replies (13) Good night (7515) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house. http://tfl.nu/7m77
  Replies (8) Good night (3959) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway. http://tfl.nu/iohv
  Replies (8) Good night (1616) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson. http://tfl.nu/vrgn
  Replies (19) Good night (4798) Bad night (1895) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked. http://tfl.nu/sxfw
  Replies (15) Good night (5906) Bad night (1820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit
  Replies (21) Good night (14408) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"

  (913): View more from Kansas

  did you yell "are you not entertained?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude" (913): did you yell "are you not entertained?" http://tfl.nu/qa0j
  Replies (21) Good night (6830) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING (617): you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me. http://tfl.nu/bj47
  Replies (33) Good night (8168) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot." http://tfl.nu/jk33
  Replies (16) Good night (1530) Bad night (4615) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober? http://tfl.nu/zgqd
  Replies (10) Good night (1873) Bad night (1275) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. http://tfl.nu/2mw2
  Replies (15) Good night (5601) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Did you dl zombie porn on my computer? http://tfl.nu/emjo
  Replies (11) Good night (1751) Bad night (3041) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck. http://tfl.nu/69rd
  Replies (17) Good night (7705) Bad night (1907) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight. http://tfl.nu/5wwv
  Replies (46) Good night (6810) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me. http://tfl.nu/06ls
  Replies (21) Good night (5331) Bad night (1878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party. http://tfl.nu/j6hi
  Replies (12) Good night (7004) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does. http://tfl.nu/f5ii
  Replies (48) Good night (7730) Bad night (1810)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink. http://tfl.nu/xse5
  Replies (6) Good night (4366) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I used to practice getting hit by cars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I used to practice getting hit by cars. http://tfl.nu/t3x2
  Replies (23) Good night (2117) Bad night (3281) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on. http://tfl.nu/5fm3
  Replies (30) Good night (10141) Bad night (1470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/1e3m
  Replies (27) Good night (6273) Bad night (1139) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side http://tfl.nu/owir
  Replies (24) Good night (1176) Bad night (7481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre http://tfl.nu/3hgx
  Replies (20) Good night (6878) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting" http://tfl.nu/dmjy
  Replies (25) Good night (15141) Bad night (1129) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out http://tfl.nu/dfjh
  Replies (20) Good night (5739) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed" http://tfl.nu/g8fj
  Replies (22) Good night (2466) Bad night (4765) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it. http://tfl.nu/e919
  Replies (20) Good night (7649) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise? http://tfl.nu/0r1q
  Replies (25) Good night (6859) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt