Texts From Last Night

sbabyb4's Favorites Texts:

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  (253): View more from Washington

  girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends

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  (253): girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends http://tfl.nu/xej0
  Replies (99) Good night (2614) Bad night (5502) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?

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  (519): why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong? http://tfl.nu/074u
  Replies (58) Good night (1037) Bad night (3294) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.

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  (845): I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard. http://tfl.nu/kj6h
  Replies (31) Good night (6402) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.

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  (+64): No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker. http://tfl.nu/g6g3
  Replies (7) Good night (5753) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year

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  (614): You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year http://tfl.nu/i8j9
  Replies (85) Good night (3098) Bad night (1341) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Hi, my name's audrey!

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Max?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.

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  (740): Hi, my name's audrey! (614): Max? (740): Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk. http://tfl.nu/di7n
  Replies (31) Good night (5744) Bad night (626)
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  (408): View more from California

  she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room

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  (408): she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room http://tfl.nu/zqg2
  Replies (23) Good night (4518) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis

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  (716): i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis http://tfl.nu/uywx
  Replies (19) Good night (4259) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.

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  (630): but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up. http://tfl.nu/psea
  Replies (29) Good night (426) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The best revenge is premature balding

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  (603): The best revenge is premature balding http://tfl.nu/ugsl
  Replies (15) Good night (3584) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

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  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (49054) Bad night (2222) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".

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  (720): He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost". http://tfl.nu/8ltm
  Replies (38) Good night (7796) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.

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  (917): Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries. http://tfl.nu/38u7
  Replies (10) Good night (750) Bad night (2934) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.

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  (916): How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology. http://tfl.nu/cnij
  Replies (34) Good night (912) Bad night (3481) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations

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  (949): We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations http://tfl.nu/lsw6
  Replies (6) Good night (5303) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.

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  (616): I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her. http://tfl.nu/z7hr
  Replies (9) Good night (5585) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...

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  (248): i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times... http://tfl.nu/ibyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5276) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (816) Good night (136712) Bad night (8409) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  you sound like my dream girl

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  (913): is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us? (312): you sound like my dream girl http://tfl.nu/joww
  Replies (44) Good night (4196) Bad night (321)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works

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  (601): I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works http://tfl.nu/8yse
  Replies (12) Good night (881) Bad night (296) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Hey you

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?

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  (916): Hey you (732): You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up? http://tfl.nu/ejs0
  Replies (42) Good night (1986) Bad night (316)
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  (707): View more from California

  he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?

  (1-707): View more from California

  logic in its finest

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  (707): he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i? (1-707): logic in its finest http://tfl.nu/z7qz
  Replies (41) Good night (4388) Bad night (2314) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Too tired to pretend that I care : (

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  (847): I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over? (773): Too tired to pretend that I care : ( http://tfl.nu/bskc
  Replies (29) Good night (768) Bad night (7535)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.

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  (440): he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now. http://tfl.nu/ongm
  Replies (166) Good night (947) Bad night (8144) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf

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  (512): everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf http://tfl.nu/ndyg
  Replies (26) Good night (585) Bad night (5077) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear

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  (856): i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear http://tfl.nu/g1ju
  Replies (28) Good night (3670) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  I totes stole your whore crown.

  (239): View more from Florida

  With great power comes great responsibility.

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  (323): I totes stole your whore crown. (239): With great power comes great responsibility. http://tfl.nu/gvmp
  Replies (57) Good night (5606) Bad night (428)
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  (347): View more from New York

  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  go home

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  (347): we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy (203): go home http://tfl.nu/91uo
  Replies (28) Good night (6622) Bad night (709)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  oh fuck your right

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  (214): i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can. (1-214): oh fuck your right http://tfl.nu/6rmf
  Replies (21) Good night (4015) Bad night (451)
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  (212): View more from New York

  where am i from again

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  (212): where am i from again http://tfl.nu/9ocs
  Replies (6) Good night (2720) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.

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  (563): My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night. http://tfl.nu/lmn5
  Replies (14) Good night (987) Bad night (4135) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  how drunk are you?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What does that even mean anymore?

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  (612): how drunk are you? (952): What does that even mean anymore? http://tfl.nu/4vkm
  Replies (10) Good night (4834) Bad night (465)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.

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  (815): Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long. http://tfl.nu/t49w
  Replies (7) Good night (3398) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me

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  (203): I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me http://tfl.nu/osg9
  Replies (45) Good night (7623) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex

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  (202): the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex http://tfl.nu/fw26
  Replies (12) Good night (4983) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.

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  (315): I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong. http://tfl.nu/20fz
  Replies (26) Good night (6904) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for

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  (304): Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for http://tfl.nu/goo7
  Replies (26) Good night (9719) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.

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  (512): We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment. http://tfl.nu/imr3
  Replies (42) Good night (1428) Bad night (5192) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...

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  (937): pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point... http://tfl.nu/zj6y
  Replies (17) Good night (8290) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed

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  (604): his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed http://tfl.nu/zsvf
  Replies (20) Good night (821) Bad night (4368) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.

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  (847): you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life. http://tfl.nu/71wd
  Replies (25) Good night (12287) Bad night (843)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.

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  (519): I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible. http://tfl.nu/zom5
  Replies (14) Good night (7385) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.

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  (847): Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free. http://tfl.nu/2six
  Replies (42) Good night (9309) Bad night (1284) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

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  (727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? http://tfl.nu/2pix
  Replies (101) Good night (36403) Bad night (1392)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in

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  (561): I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in http://tfl.nu/qgu1
  Replies (12) Good night (4633) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet

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  (339): i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet http://tfl.nu/r3gc
  Replies (29) Good night (9389) Bad night (1161) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"

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  (515): I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that" http://tfl.nu/9edj
  Replies (15) Good night (5751) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?

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  (203): Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock? http://tfl.nu/k7ck
  Replies (27) Good night (5793) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.

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  (310): So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he. http://tfl.nu/52vb
  Replies (50) Good night (14296) Bad night (1989) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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  (610): she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot. http://tfl.nu/93sx
  Replies (26) Good night (6693) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (52) Good night (68161) Bad night (1686) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

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  (928): She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon. http://tfl.nu/cf99
  Replies (31) Good night (8060) Bad night (2582) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

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  (201): i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line http://tfl.nu/rmxl
  Replies (51) Good night (9946) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."

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  (425): It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo." http://tfl.nu/u5wa
  Replies (44) Good night (15981) Bad night (801)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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  (240): stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing. http://tfl.nu/y30j
  Replies (20) Good night (8497) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (936): View more from Texas

  you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"

  (1-936): View more from Texas

  I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...

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  (936): you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while" (1-936): I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day... http://tfl.nu/1f15
  Replies (19) Good night (9508) Bad night (553)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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  (609): I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking. (215): Being persistent has its perks my friend. http://tfl.nu/wzcm
  Replies (11) Good night (3393) Bad night (291)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

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  (802): I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends. http://tfl.nu/oh1c
  Replies (10) Good night (4628) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?

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  (205): Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in? http://tfl.nu/qt1z
  Replies (15) Good night (5032) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  You drunk yet?

  (925): View more from California

  Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.

  (408): View more from California

  Cant make any promises.

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  (408): You drunk yet? (925): Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them. (408): Cant make any promises. http://tfl.nu/jm9i
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  (954): View more from Florida

  hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.

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  (954): hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot. http://tfl.nu/3jpd
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  (917): View more from New York City

  we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.

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  (917): we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer. http://tfl.nu/2zy4
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  (585): View more from New York

  please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.

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  (585): please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad. http://tfl.nu/8fn1
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  (516): View more from New York

  I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank

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  (516): I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank http://tfl.nu/rnlw
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