Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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