Texts From Last Night

aylric's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other. http://tfl.nu/nigv
  Replies (29) Good night (6458) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (816) Good night (136706) Bad night (8408) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle. http://tfl.nu/juw9
  Replies (25) Good night (6481) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven. http://tfl.nu/24p0
  Replies (42) Good night (9467) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accept this challenge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm
  Replies (60) Good night (17734) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh
  Replies (42) Good night (9716) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!? http://tfl.nu/iolx
  Replies (39) Good night (10938) Bad night (1256) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome. http://tfl.nu/vhpn
  Replies (21) Good night (6468) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator http://tfl.nu/8mwn
  Replies (32) Good night (11381) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me. http://tfl.nu/1449
  Replies (24) Good night (4825) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj
  Replies (35) Good night (7672) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ..i think i can hear you losing your virginity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): ..i think i can hear you losing your virginity http://tfl.nu/nv6r
  Replies (17) Good night (7787) Bad night (1268) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job. http://tfl.nu/xzx3
  Replies (41) Good night (6934) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (754): You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm. http://tfl.nu/ypbk
  Replies (18) Good night (4489) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual. http://tfl.nu/myfw
  Replies (23) Good night (5362) Bad night (1515) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning. http://tfl.nu/m9jy
  Replies (13) Good night (4798) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life' http://tfl.nu/863e
  Replies (26) Good night (6564) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR http://tfl.nu/ynfk
  Replies (42) Good night (10636) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal. http://tfl.nu/vbhe
  Replies (24) Good night (7491) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber" http://tfl.nu/jvct
  Replies (48) Good night (8959) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick... http://tfl.nu/36kw
  Replies (67) Good night (5166) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically. http://tfl.nu/np2a
  Replies (23) Good night (1595) Bad night (6164) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it. http://tfl.nu/8hng
  Replies (28) Good night (9861) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it http://tfl.nu/o2df
  Replies (33) Good night (8769) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose http://tfl.nu/q51l
  Replies (51) Good night (1424) Bad night (6184) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella http://tfl.nu/27sq
  Replies (31) Good night (11893) Bad night (1195) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do http://tfl.nu/c5r9
  Replies (14) Good night (5495) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them? http://tfl.nu/br07
  Replies (99) Good night (1514) Bad night (5338) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud? http://tfl.nu/2vhi
  Replies (27) Good night (7463) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A simple 'no' would have sufficed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls. (610): A simple 'no' would have sufficed http://tfl.nu/eyzn
  Replies (14) Good night (1527) Bad night (5188)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum http://tfl.nu/fisn
  Replies (28) Good night (2560) Bad night (8883) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun. http://tfl.nu/sejn
  Replies (23) Good night (2615) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation http://tfl.nu/w8jm
  Replies (74) Good night (7263) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy http://tfl.nu/57ze
  Replies (17) Good night (5763) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again. http://tfl.nu/1fxb
  Replies (27) Good night (959) Bad night (7273) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear. http://tfl.nu/h1fn
  Replies (10) Good night (2523) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (567): i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style http://tfl.nu/1r2g
  Replies (24) Good night (1449) Bad night (4587) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place. http://tfl.nu/kait
  Replies (25) Good night (22896) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  that's an acceptable place to lick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): that's an acceptable place to lick http://tfl.nu/6rie
  Replies (11) Good night (3805) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/mtsq
  Replies (9) Good night (2583) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick http://tfl.nu/778x
  Replies (69) Good night (13668) Bad night (3306) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox. http://tfl.nu/v0mm
  Replies (45) Good night (8757) Bad night (2452) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy." http://tfl.nu/a1we
  Replies (91) Good night (20558) Bad night (2710) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day http://tfl.nu/bp9q
  Replies (36) Good night (5901) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY http://tfl.nu/d7k6
  Replies (20) Good night (6016) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type. (1-813): Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type. http://tfl.nu/055q
  Replies (90) Good night (7627) Bad night (1380) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass. http://tfl.nu/vn76
  Replies (25) Good night (4579) Bad night (1562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex. http://tfl.nu/3zjj
  Replies (21) Good night (1556) Bad night (6188) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously.. http://tfl.nu/exbf
  Replies (24) Good night (1189) Bad night (6311) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer? http://tfl.nu/yj7n
  Replies (26) Good night (4375) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I really wanna talk..

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I really wanna talk.. (1-817): if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down http://tfl.nu/qj3j
  Replies (82) Good night (7551) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right? http://tfl.nu/y3vu
  Replies (49) Good night (992) Bad night (7042) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged. http://tfl.nu/xha8
  Replies (57) Good night (2017) Bad night (4154)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (221) Good night (6514) Bad night (70162)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger" (215): i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way http://tfl.nu/i786
  Replies (16) Good night (2505) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/ibfv
  Replies (124) Good night (40248) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars? http://tfl.nu/0mdx
  Replies (56) Good night (25370) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/pxgw
  Replies (134) Good night (41914) Bad night (1360) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar. http://tfl.nu/t9uo
  Replies (59) Good night (4746) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt