He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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