Texts From Last Night

wardrobehippie's Favorites Texts:

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.

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  (734): debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book. http://tfl.nu/o0qf
  Replies (22) Good night (955) Bad night (3909) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

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  (507): All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon http://tfl.nu/xv5b
  Replies (12) Good night (1847) Bad night (2386)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often

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  (413): your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often http://tfl.nu/h345
  Replies (5) Good night (3107) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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  (801): He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often. http://tfl.nu/6bnz
  Replies (31) Good night (10358) Bad night (1049)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

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  (864): I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you. http://tfl.nu/pv7t
  Replies (11) Good night (7285) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.

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  (913): i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire. http://tfl.nu/gd8k
  Replies (6) Good night (5164) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"

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  (505): We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!" http://tfl.nu/sk68
  Replies (10) Good night (4620) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.

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  (630): I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate. http://tfl.nu/tob7
  Replies (18) Good night (5284) Bad night (1783)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away

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  (801): So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away http://tfl.nu/h2fc
  Replies (11) Good night (5158) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's great music for shaving your balls

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  (850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw
  Replies (25) Good night (3725) Bad night (1579) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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  (347): sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things. http://tfl.nu/13io
  Replies (35) Good night (8098) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.

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  (979): We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it. http://tfl.nu/1cxu
  Replies (26) Good night (7407) Bad night (1057) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he thanks me after handjobs.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  you found the perfect man.

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  (203): he thanks me after handjobs. (1-203): you found the perfect man. http://tfl.nu/eh9t
  Replies (43) Good night (4921) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.

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  (256): You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers. http://tfl.nu/otyu
  Replies (10) Good night (6867) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Who is this?

  (407): View more from Florida

  Who do you want it to be?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sarah Palin

  (407): View more from Florida

  I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde

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  (978): Who is this? (407): Who do you want it to be? (978): Sarah Palin (407): I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde http://tfl.nu/hfjt
  Replies (4) Good night (1971) Bad night (463)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

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  (651): The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing. http://tfl.nu/9cqq
  Replies (15) Good night (5063) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER

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  (203): my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER http://tfl.nu/olos
  Replies (30) Good night (890) Bad night (5240) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.

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  (410): she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love. http://tfl.nu/0ws2
  Replies (22) Good night (1139) Bad night (5607) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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  (408): It's chlamydia! Thank God! http://tfl.nu/1hqj
  Replies (25) Good night (1442) Bad night (8228) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?

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  (816): at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea? http://tfl.nu/mw1i
  Replies (13) Good night (3228) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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  (763): someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless http://tfl.nu/hdeq
  Replies (10) Good night (4474) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding

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  (913): Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding http://tfl.nu/jewl
  Replies (8) Good night (3583) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

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  (509): Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that. http://tfl.nu/jsxj
  Replies (10) Good night (5503) Bad night (1421)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.

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  (410): There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/a558
  Replies (9) Good night (4843) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.

  (949): View more from California

  she's my drunk super hero.

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  (219): you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds. (949): she's my drunk super hero. http://tfl.nu/ngha
  Replies (17) Good night (5535) Bad night (1097)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him

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  (785): Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him http://tfl.nu/x0sm
  Replies (31) Good night (1418) Bad night (6253) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy

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  (845): The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy http://tfl.nu/dldv
  Replies (46) Good night (993) Bad night (5265) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  wtf

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  (973): yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina (1-973): wtf http://tfl.nu/idhw
  Replies (18) Good night (1196) Bad night (5177) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away

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  (530): He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away http://tfl.nu/6kvy
  Replies (20) Good night (1087) Bad night (5611) Order T-Shirt
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  (03): View more from

  you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

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  (03): you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!! http://tfl.nu/e67e
  Replies (18) Good night (6843) Bad night (906)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

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  (954): im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls http://tfl.nu/n5en
  Replies (13) Good night (6858) Bad night (935) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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  (585): there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk http://tfl.nu/9sjy
  Replies (21) Good night (1460) Bad night (3706) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award

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  (336): i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award http://tfl.nu/t3kf
  Replies (17) Good night (5851) Bad night (1129) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...

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  (803): Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together... http://tfl.nu/duna
  Replies (76) Good night (2180) Bad night (6568) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there

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  (770): it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there http://tfl.nu/89or
  Replies (36) Good night (933) Bad night (7059) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love

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  (732): she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love http://tfl.nu/knwu
  Replies (35) Good night (12254) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.

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  (843): I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you. http://tfl.nu/lcu4
  Replies (11) Good night (937) Bad night (4227) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through

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  (512): and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through http://tfl.nu/6tx9
  Replies (14) Good night (5233) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  dude how high are you right now?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.

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  (256): i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground. (1-256): dude how high are you right now? (256): do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves. http://tfl.nu/7ihc
  Replies (40) Good night (11521) Bad night (1101)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices

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  (207): Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices http://tfl.nu/clic
  Replies (34) Good night (7281) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on

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  (303): I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on http://tfl.nu/bnty
  Replies (17) Good night (10156) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I mistook a propane tank for a keg.

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  (850): I mistook a propane tank for a keg. http://tfl.nu/qvlo
  Replies (21) Good night (828) Bad night (10038) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  im so drunk with asians

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  where?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  always

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  (614): im so drunk with asians (1-614): where? (614): always http://tfl.nu/is91
  Replies (43) Good night (7290) Bad night (617)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I think im going to throw up on grandma

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  (315): I think im going to throw up on grandma http://tfl.nu/l2gu
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (2461) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Someone shit on the floor

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  (216): Someone shit on the floor http://tfl.nu/4f0v
  Replies (20) Good night (624) Bad night (2834) Order T-Shirt
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.

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  (+27): My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos. http://tfl.nu/d1hj
  Replies (17) Good night (2246) Bad night (4576) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?

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  (901): Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out? http://tfl.nu/cfeo
  Replies (29) Good night (5918) Bad night (1059) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.

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  (519): and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover. http://tfl.nu/uo1b
  Replies (9) Good night (6506) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him

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  (914): Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him http://tfl.nu/h9ln
  Replies (23) Good night (5942) Bad night (1495)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.

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  (585): Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven. http://tfl.nu/xlkq
  Replies (9) Good night (6189) Bad night (890)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.

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  (847): i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen. http://tfl.nu/1m72
  Replies (47) Good night (11511) Bad night (2161) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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  (352): we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark. http://tfl.nu/009s
  Replies (44) Good night (7435) Bad night (1934) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...

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  (831): So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me... http://tfl.nu/3wpt
  Replies (18) Good night (1269) Bad night (6452) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.

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  (570): i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network. http://tfl.nu/mmjy
  Replies (45) Good night (2615) Bad night (4552) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad

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  (770): my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad http://tfl.nu/o7wi
  Replies (32) Good night (1605) Bad night (8596) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.

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  (281): Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up. http://tfl.nu/tbqv
  Replies (18) Good night (1108) Bad night (3659) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

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  (630): Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.. http://tfl.nu/pq67
  Replies (7) Good night (3864) Bad night (1535)
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  (209): View more from California

  Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?

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  (209): Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on? http://tfl.nu/ru4x
  Replies (20) Good night (3574) Bad night (1226) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

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  (516): I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?" http://tfl.nu/niuk
  Replies (38) Good night (6764) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.

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  (807): I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever. http://tfl.nu/8cfr
  Replies (23) Good night (5051) Bad night (1028) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.

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  (502): Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there. http://tfl.nu/zqp7
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?

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  (303): What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil? http://tfl.nu/rel9
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.

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  (215): Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing. http://tfl.nu/dzgt
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