I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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