Texts From Last Night

heeyitsally's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women. http://tfl.nu/zhxo
  Replies (22) Good night (6140) Bad night (2752) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4
  Replies (101) Good night (33900) Bad night (3565) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars http://tfl.nu/6xt5
  Replies (21) Good night (7045) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha http://tfl.nu/k58e
  Replies (20) Good night (7105) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich. http://tfl.nu/hmr5
  Replies (28) Good night (16333) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest (248): If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does http://tfl.nu/2sf6
  Replies (10) Good night (7334) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns. http://tfl.nu/xebd
  Replies (56) Good night (13467) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive http://tfl.nu/jlaw
  Replies (13) Good night (1820) Bad night (3660) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals http://tfl.nu/h68j
  Replies (33) Good night (8613) Bad night (1184) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed. http://tfl.nu/819f
  Replies (26) Good night (10979) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car http://tfl.nu/9e8r
  Replies (38) Good night (8894) Bad night (1843) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city http://tfl.nu/k6ti
  Replies (38) Good night (11915) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): My own mom unfriended me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/a468
  Replies (68) Good night (3735) Bad night (11294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks. http://tfl.nu/8eyu
  Replies (46) Good night (19185) Bad night (1397) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old. http://tfl.nu/nedp
  Replies (105) Good night (1826) Bad night (5572) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room. http://tfl.nu/y7ti
  Replies (17) Good night (2047) Bad night (4889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something... http://tfl.nu/7h7f
  Replies (21) Good night (6929) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him. http://tfl.nu/oqtn
  Replies (54) Good night (12204) Bad night (1956) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt http://tfl.nu/x2m1
  Replies (35) Good night (3190) Bad night (6578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever. http://tfl.nu/uuz9
  Replies (9) Good night (5817) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified. http://tfl.nu/k6t4
  Replies (15) Good night (5524) Bad night (1371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee (1-440): please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation http://tfl.nu/gydk
  Replies (78) Good night (6213) Bad night (6701) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener. (1-609): Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts. http://tfl.nu/3zgr
  Replies (50) Good night (5518) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games? http://tfl.nu/dghf
  Replies (21) Good night (1393) Bad night (2940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  wow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh (1-219): wow. http://tfl.nu/be02
  Replies (38) Good night (6486) Bad night (2704) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket? http://tfl.nu/lptb
  Replies (48) Good night (1557) Bad night (7137) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dont start drinking without me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor? (609): dont start drinking without me http://tfl.nu/ofdx
  Replies (47) Good night (4883) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him. http://tfl.nu/i7hv
  Replies (32) Good night (917) Bad night (4928) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

  (1-631): View more from New York

  that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch (1-631): that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her http://tfl.nu/x28l
  Replies (28) Good night (1087) Bad night (5938)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody. http://tfl.nu/gh8f
  Replies (17) Good night (7156) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?" http://tfl.nu/xq6v
  Replies (43) Good night (8539) Bad night (1257) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs http://tfl.nu/cgkd
  Replies (58) Good night (833) Bad night (11996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night http://tfl.nu/zxc1
  Replies (9) Good night (5083) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Tell me the dirtiest joke you know

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Sarah Palin

  (907): View more from Alaska

  god, I love you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Tell me the dirtiest joke you know (1-907): Sarah Palin (907): god, I love you http://tfl.nu/fmd4
  Replies (101) Good night (10336) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room http://tfl.nu/2vn0
  Replies (12) Good night (4227) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?

  (1-845): View more from New York

  Who won mens moguls?

  (845): View more from New York

  That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously? (1-845): Who won mens moguls? (845): That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude. http://tfl.nu/8mik
  Replies (63) Good night (6544) Bad night (2059)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'. http://tfl.nu/aatj
  Replies (44) Good night (1521) Bad night (6035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing http://tfl.nu/tarj
  Replies (71) Good night (12523) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen. http://tfl.nu/ucck
  Replies (14) Good night (4517) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  so my dad walked in on us having sex

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  lulz really? why?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): so my dad walked in on us having sex (1-256): lulz really? why? (256): lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time http://tfl.nu/805g
  Replies (75) Good night (1416) Bad night (10945)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out http://tfl.nu/fsk9
  Replies (106) Good night (21010) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my period, period, period

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex (703): I'm on my period, period, period http://tfl.nu/vsrk
  Replies (72) Good night (1761) Bad night (15560)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body? (1-412): Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit http://tfl.nu/2oue
  Replies (51) Good night (2125) Bad night (13595)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you http://tfl.nu/7a0u
  Replies (57) Good night (11995) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps. http://tfl.nu/w1cf
  Replies (37) Good night (5938) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/0szs
  Replies (18) Good night (4921) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  whose oscar?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone (1-203): whose oscar? (203): the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month. http://tfl.nu/bpyh
  Replies (29) Good night (8711) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm http://tfl.nu/xdgb
  Replies (16) Good night (5513) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.

  (716): View more from New York

  you're writing country songs now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me. (716): you're writing country songs now? http://tfl.nu/hdm9
  Replies (32) Good night (1700) Bad night (6469)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning (780): I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk http://tfl.nu/o2k0
  Replies (17) Good night (2492) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies. http://tfl.nu/atqm
  Replies (8) Good night (1616) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed. http://tfl.nu/26az
  Replies (35) Good night (3729) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented. http://tfl.nu/jb6b
  Replies (810) Good night (12462) Bad night (5722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status.. http://tfl.nu/z1m2
  Replies (25) Good night (6662) Bad night (1223) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh
  Replies (124) Good night (40847) Bad night (2618)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11379) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I wanna eat

  (562): View more from California

  then frost

  (562): View more from California

  then eat your cupcake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): I wanna eat (562): then frost (562): then eat your cupcake http://tfl.nu/zc7x
  Replies (12) Good night (1010) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it

  (206): View more from Washington

  youre the best friend ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it (206): youre the best friend ever http://tfl.nu/6oyc
  Replies (46) Good night (20360) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse. http://tfl.nu/gxwi
  Replies (14) Good night (4196) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job. (320): Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud. http://tfl.nu/wke9
  Replies (38) Good night (7552) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on

  (1-310): View more from California

  I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on (1-310): I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his http://tfl.nu/vdif
  Replies (30) Good night (5402) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile" http://tfl.nu/3hji
  Replies (10) Good night (532) Bad night (3398) Order T-Shirt