Texts From Last Night · Milligan's Favorites

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Milligan's Favorites Texts:

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(775): View more from Nevada

If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.

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(432): View more from Texas

she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

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(416): View more from Toronto

We were fucking at break-dick speeds.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?

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(903): View more from Texas

So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.

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