Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
