Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
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Take the vibrator into the shower next time.
Go borrow a guy.
Maybe God wants you to get a Boyfriend. Time to go on the Prowl!
It's the one that just smiles At everything and nods
maybe god wants u to be horny for the rest of your life