Texts From Last Night

pinkcarnation's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts

  (805): View more from California

  YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts are serious business

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH (1-805): budget cuts (805): YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS (1-805): budget cuts are serious business http://tfl.nu/xrnj
  Replies (14) Good night (3822) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened. http://tfl.nu/9qga
  Replies (16) Good night (950) Bad night (4476)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I want a grilled cheese and an IV

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I want a grilled cheese and an IV http://tfl.nu/ksb1
  Replies (5) Good night (2237) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen http://tfl.nu/keq8
  Replies (18) Good night (1158) Bad night (8689) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight http://tfl.nu/859p
  Replies (10) Good night (4006) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after http://tfl.nu/akdp
  Replies (50) Good night (4536) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain. http://tfl.nu/vwtj
  Replies (51) Good night (25357) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone http://tfl.nu/hyr8
  Replies (240) Good night (1963) Bad night (8267) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps. http://tfl.nu/jawa
  Replies (51) Good night (17554) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds? (1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 http://tfl.nu/vzb8
  Replies (109) Good night (39855) Bad night (1924)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me. http://tfl.nu/826q
  Replies (131) Good night (14359) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car http://tfl.nu/oon7
  Replies (29) Good night (4559) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is. http://tfl.nu/41jw
  Replies (24) Good night (17871) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I hate ducks.

  (916): View more from California

  What?

  (916): View more from California

  they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I hate ducks. (916): What? (916): they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck. http://tfl.nu/gesm
  Replies (55) Good night (3268) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz
  Replies (46) Good night (15968) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6
  Replies (14) Good night (2307) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (301) Good night (100338) Bad night (5714)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german.. http://tfl.nu/y195
  Replies (32) Good night (5514) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it. http://tfl.nu/l9cy
  Replies (18) Good night (4508) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you definitely held a convo with a hobo

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we have a secret handshake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): you definitely held a convo with a hobo (1-610): we have a secret handshake http://tfl.nu/i4o5
  Replies (25) Good night (4231) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

  (831): View more from California

  Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC (831): Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown. http://tfl.nu/up2g
  Replies (43) Good night (9929) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  (727): View more from Florida

  ooooooooooooo i'm drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (727): ooooooooooooo i'm drink http://tfl.nu/m1fg
  Replies (25) Good night (4334) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/enxi
  Replies (13) Good night (6319) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction. http://tfl.nu/e3vr
  Replies (33) Good night (745) Bad night (5498) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  my professor just said "the power of the situation"

  (216): View more from Ohio

  drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): my professor just said "the power of the situation" (216): drink http://tfl.nu/g82n
  Replies (17) Good night (5123) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze. http://tfl.nu/rr46
  Replies (27) Good night (5678) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart (508): These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work http://tfl.nu/sac2
  Replies (15) Good night (7275) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142175) Bad night (9317) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates. http://tfl.nu/jgwf
  Replies (89) Good night (5702) Bad night (1378) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps http://tfl.nu/x84f
  Replies (85) Good night (6216) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is sufficient.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living (1-412): bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug (412): This is sufficient. http://tfl.nu/p15m
  Replies (72) Good night (12116) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon. http://tfl.nu/tzl9
  Replies (57) Good night (20177) Bad night (1249) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'. (215): we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/6wc5
  Replies (27) Good night (6556) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them. http://tfl.nu/0g2b
  Replies (42) Good night (1037) Bad night (2292)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody. http://tfl.nu/blud
  Replies (55) Good night (10844) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera http://tfl.nu/ivkx
  Replies (40) Good night (841) Bad night (2592)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again. http://tfl.nu/vc1t
  Replies (24) Good night (3602) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever. http://tfl.nu/cy9z
  Replies (195) Good night (10546) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here http://tfl.nu/hhg1
  Replies (16) Good night (5280) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie. http://tfl.nu/xp3y
  Replies (36) Good night (6990) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard. http://tfl.nu/9kw6
  Replies (7) Good night (2336) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/yxe4
  Replies (61) Good night (5673) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet http://tfl.nu/ttdp
  Replies (41) Good night (5310) Bad night (1410) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country. http://tfl.nu/tafy
  Replies (261) Good night (20358) Bad night (1973) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends. (1-303): At about the same time you guys weren't burritos. http://tfl.nu/mxci
  Replies (27) Good night (7816) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer. http://tfl.nu/ic81
  Replies (5) Good night (466) Bad night (2784) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (188) Good night (56850) Bad night (4690)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (51531) Bad night (1870)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  what's Bukake?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  a bad idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): what's Bukake? (1-513): a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/i91o
  Replies (31) Good night (1199) Bad night (2865) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game. http://tfl.nu/c0fd
  Replies (11) Good night (4501) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer. http://tfl.nu/s996
  Replies (22) Good night (4432) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts. http://tfl.nu/ixjv
  Replies (634) Good night (5238) Bad night (6194) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  what was she crying about?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle. (1-734): what was she crying about? (734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job. http://tfl.nu/fomm
  Replies (47) Good night (14294) Bad night (1657)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (508) Good night (86089) Bad night (8382)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar. (303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick. http://tfl.nu/w6wy
  Replies (111) Good night (38424) Bad night (3077)