Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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