Texts From Last Night

warthless's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation" http://tfl.nu/vmn5
  Replies (10) Good night (3449) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying? http://tfl.nu/tphe
  Replies (12) Good night (4046) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover. http://tfl.nu/pxbl
  Replies (8) Good night (3782) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex http://tfl.nu/jqzk
  Replies (5) Good night (2742) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later http://tfl.nu/sax8
  Replies (4) Good night (1981) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka." http://tfl.nu/g6um
  Replies (6) Good night (3296) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend? http://tfl.nu/abvl
  Replies (28) Good night (7980) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer http://tfl.nu/4g9e
  Replies (5) Good night (2262) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed.. http://tfl.nu/orkv
  Replies (3) Good night (3888) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/l81q
  Replies (7) Good night (3610) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage" http://tfl.nu/fr69
  Replies (16) Good night (8697) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here". http://tfl.nu/11k9
  Replies (5) Good night (2326) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth? http://tfl.nu/eljh
  Replies (9) Good night (847) Bad night (5174) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk. http://tfl.nu/l985
  Replies (5) Good night (2968) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though. http://tfl.nu/qm3u
  Replies (18) Good night (5626) Bad night (1646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards. http://tfl.nu/9pdc
  Replies (10) Good night (3396) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you. http://tfl.nu/u1yg
  Replies (12) Good night (6826) Bad night (1329) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again. http://tfl.nu/1y07
  Replies (24) Good night (7095) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like. http://tfl.nu/awah
  Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (2524)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god" http://tfl.nu/2xo4
  Replies (10) Good night (4206) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ofzk
  Replies (24) Good night (1973) Bad night (3889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8
  Replies (8) Good night (4988) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls? http://tfl.nu/i6ht
  Replies (18) Good night (3920) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina. http://tfl.nu/o9qo
  Replies (8) Good night (3684) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday... http://tfl.nu/23uc
  Replies (3) Good night (2646) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits. http://tfl.nu/w5h8
  Replies (7) Good night (3190) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING." http://tfl.nu/28kd
  Replies (5) Good night (2591) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples http://tfl.nu/ak9g
  Replies (4) Good night (2408) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/jkmt
  Replies (2) Good night (2203) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex. http://tfl.nu/rz6s
  Replies (12) Good night (4061) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse. http://tfl.nu/qxpq
  Replies (6) Good night (2421) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop? http://tfl.nu/8g34
  Replies (22) Good night (6061) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up http://tfl.nu/dczq
  Replies (6) Good night (3388) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. http://tfl.nu/f12g
  Replies (1) Good night (2040) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees. http://tfl.nu/sgqa
  Replies (8) Good night (1342) Bad night (3733) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you? http://tfl.nu/o13h
  Replies (8) Good night (3503) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you http://tfl.nu/hg35
  Replies (9) Good night (5107) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement. http://tfl.nu/tf3a
  Replies (6) Good night (2445) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing http://tfl.nu/mpy9
  Replies (6) Good night (2786) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body. http://tfl.nu/hcjb
  Replies (6) Good night (969) Bad night (2289) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship http://tfl.nu/xkl4
  Replies (5) Good night (2526) Bad night (1274) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll. http://tfl.nu/0tct
  Replies (4) Good night (1054) Bad night (2417) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now. http://tfl.nu/d3l4
  Replies (5) Good night (2993) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds. http://tfl.nu/c4et
  Replies (4) Good night (2716) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love! http://tfl.nu/kaje
  Replies (9) Good night (4619) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision. http://tfl.nu/ny2a
  Replies (11) Good night (2758) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/gw51
  Replies (10) Good night (3319) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test. http://tfl.nu/znwq
  Replies (4) Good night (4993) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard". http://tfl.nu/w1c8
  Replies (19) Good night (6708) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me. http://tfl.nu/wdvy
  Replies (15) Good night (7920) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol http://tfl.nu/846v
  Replies (5) Good night (2124) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret http://tfl.nu/ksru
  Replies (53) Good night (1400) Bad night (2301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk http://tfl.nu/vmmw
  Replies (14) Good night (2806) Bad night (1883) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint? http://tfl.nu/8n36
  Replies (11) Good night (4307) Bad night (882) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  she could've warned me his penis was curved

  (708): View more from Illinois

  ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): she could've warned me his penis was curved (708): ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/vp5d
  Replies (14) Good night (1577) Bad night (4528)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek
  Replies (20) Good night (3016) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus" http://tfl.nu/8y4p
  Replies (12) Good night (3747) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water. http://tfl.nu/94yr
  Replies (8) Good night (4945) Bad night (1057) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts http://tfl.nu/t2mu
  Replies (6) Good night (2900) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca. http://tfl.nu/7ojr
  Replies (6) Good night (3330) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now. http://tfl.nu/wa2b
  Replies (32) Good night (9051) Bad night (1368) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name http://tfl.nu/x1lq
  Replies (20) Good night (2327) Bad night (4319) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s
  Replies (179) Good night (85907) Bad night (3080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (182) Good night (93480) Bad night (4596)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142169) Bad night (9315) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground. http://tfl.nu/deou
  Replies (9) Good night (2446) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk. http://tfl.nu/tfhs
  Replies (5) Good night (4534) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive. http://tfl.nu/w5b0
  Replies (22) Good night (3093) Bad night (5619) Order T-Shirt