Texts From Last Night

themeconspiracy's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose. http://tfl.nu/41p8
  Replies (36) Good night (8993) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed. http://tfl.nu/94v6
  Replies (10) Good night (5569) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  whats a bus flip?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  idk but apparently i invented it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip (1-225): whats a bus flip? (225): idk but apparently i invented it http://tfl.nu/n87k
  Replies (23) Good night (9482) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is http://tfl.nu/hhp3
  Replies (55) Good night (4631) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense. http://tfl.nu/myox
  Replies (3) Good night (2686) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't even know what potassium is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember? (703): I don't even know what potassium is. http://tfl.nu/wfp6
  Replies (47) Good night (9941) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu
  Replies (16) Good night (8340) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine... http://tfl.nu/msgo
  Replies (34) Good night (12707) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages. http://tfl.nu/yro9
  Replies (8) Good night (3298) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright. http://tfl.nu/328h
  Replies (17) Good night (7128) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles. http://tfl.nu/gk69
  Replies (29) Good night (6699) Bad night (961) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache http://tfl.nu/a5vx
  Replies (22) Good night (4410) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex http://tfl.nu/ydbw
  Replies (31) Good night (5148) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac. http://tfl.nu/8ele
  Replies (19) Good night (5914) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address.... http://tfl.nu/ivpp
  Replies (28) Good night (6123) Bad night (1889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon. http://tfl.nu/d58s
  Replies (39) Good night (9049) Bad night (1141) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon. http://tfl.nu/tzl9
  Replies (57) Good night (20173) Bad night (1245) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/nho3
  Replies (12) Good night (6780) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever. http://tfl.nu/26l9
  Replies (23) Good night (7009) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall http://tfl.nu/usfu
  Replies (4) Good night (3892) Bad night (1243) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/ad2i
  Replies (21) Good night (4789) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog http://tfl.nu/rz7h
  Replies (30) Good night (6169) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet http://tfl.nu/r3gc
  Replies (29) Good night (9746) Bad night (1384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  ...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): ...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear... http://tfl.nu/jb6u
  Replies (14) Good night (6016) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it http://tfl.nu/gf74
  Replies (7) Good night (4034) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers (1-205): yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness.... http://tfl.nu/wnn7
  Replies (62) Good night (10428) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things. http://tfl.nu/chhw
  Replies (6) Good night (3447) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy. http://tfl.nu/lepd
  Replies (18) Good night (3298) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades. http://tfl.nu/zsau
  Replies (10) Good night (3507) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!" http://tfl.nu/8xfk
  Replies (11) Good night (13039) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  dude how high are you right now?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground. (1-256): dude how high are you right now? (256): do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves. http://tfl.nu/7ihc
  Replies (40) Good night (11522) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain". http://tfl.nu/ukpa
  Replies (26) Good night (14320) Bad night (1057) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed? (540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets. http://tfl.nu/2g4o
  Replies (42) Good night (28317) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them. http://tfl.nu/9puy
  Replies (22) Good night (8115) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero... http://tfl.nu/xsvf
  Replies (17) Good night (6151) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it. http://tfl.nu/hzy8
  Replies (33) Good night (12479) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi

  (214): View more from Texas

  ok, stay where you are, be there soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi (214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon http://tfl.nu/1y99
  Replies (55) Good night (2356) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation? (1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets. http://tfl.nu/hqfn
  Replies (97) Good night (40129) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water http://tfl.nu/opqy
  Replies (15) Good night (7417) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well. http://tfl.nu/uja4
  Replies (56) Good night (942) Bad night (4843) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money" http://tfl.nu/engr
  Replies (14) Good night (6189) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him http://tfl.nu/0v7f
  Replies (4) Good night (5573) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  our cab driver is having phone sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): our cab driver is having phone sex. http://tfl.nu/18ax
  Replies (18) Good night (5339) Bad night (2182) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls. http://tfl.nu/83jv
  Replies (16) Good night (6193) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF? http://tfl.nu/wdl8
  Replies (59) Good night (3737) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is? http://tfl.nu/uyol
  Replies (10) Good night (4576) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven. http://tfl.nu/xlkq
  Replies (9) Good night (6190) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later? http://tfl.nu/w8i3
  Replies (16) Good night (5702) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo? http://tfl.nu/oqag
  Replies (16) Good night (2683) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I woke up on my floor...

  (1-516): View more from New York

  I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I woke up on my floor... (1-516): I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop... http://tfl.nu/u1o5
  Replies (12) Good night (3778) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Are you with Adam and his vodka?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Are you with Adam and his vodka? (1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued http://tfl.nu/0qde
  Replies (29) Good night (4084) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!" http://tfl.nu/g6w4
  Replies (81) Good night (4873) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network. http://tfl.nu/5cas
  Replies (35) Good night (3164) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon? http://tfl.nu/8edy
  Replies (45) Good night (5454) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers http://tfl.nu/btsl
  Replies (12) Good night (4727) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants http://tfl.nu/bet3
  Replies (14) Good night (13880) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps. http://tfl.nu/q0ub
  Replies (12) Good night (7673) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan http://tfl.nu/uipi
  Replies (16) Good night (5525) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done http://tfl.nu/fwxa
  Replies (15) Good night (3637) Bad night (2722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar http://tfl.nu/kodl
  Replies (29) Good night (6939) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89
  Replies (34) Good night (18189) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people" http://tfl.nu/5d9d
  Replies (20) Good night (7427) Bad night (1641) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this http://tfl.nu/0jv4
  Replies (30) Good night (5131) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night..... http://tfl.nu/buh9
  Replies (14) Good night (1629) Bad night (4605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit." http://tfl.nu/5gls
  Replies (31) Good night (977) Bad night (4682)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.

  (1-646): View more from New York

  what. the. fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now. (1-646): what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/rzew
  Replies (55) Good night (5466) Bad night (795)