he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
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need a moment? youre either drunk or need a twix. both sounds even better
everything taste better with bacon...
Bacon tastes good.
Stellar find. I bet your mother is proud.
LIAR!!!!\n\n\nFry the west Memphis three.
Why melt it? What's wrong with a bacon wrapped twix?
Bacon makes everything better, even while drunk
you know how I know you're fat... FIRST
It could be a pregnant woman.
That sounds fucking amazing
Rule: If you need a moment, eat a twix.
Oh I get it, because you're being ironic and so is he.. so now hes your perfect match. oh man that is so witty.