Texts From Last Night · Helladank's Favorites

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Helladank's Favorites Texts:

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(318): View more from Louisiana

A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"

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(660): View more from Missouri

On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.

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(410): View more from Maryland

We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.

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(352): View more from Florida

I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.

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(407): View more from Florida

I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?

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(253): View more from Washington

i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down

(253): View more from Washington

ppsyche im wasted where are you

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