I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I love having hate sex.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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