She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
