Texts From Last Night

xKohlTrainx's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready http://tfl.nu/od5a
  Replies (21) Good night (4293) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood" http://tfl.nu/duu9
  Replies (47) Good night (999) Bad night (6970) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went. http://tfl.nu/fpvf
  Replies (16) Good night (6109) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early. http://tfl.nu/8f7a
  Replies (17) Good night (6481) Bad night (1781)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  How do you jack off and text at the same time?

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  On my iPhone they have an app for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): How do you jack off and text at the same time? (1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that http://tfl.nu/2tk7
  Replies (84) Good night (31340) Bad night (1745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said" http://tfl.nu/5y3k
  Replies (39) Good night (2558) Bad night (4920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed http://tfl.nu/3qmq
  Replies (5) Good night (5480) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..

  (703): View more from Virginia

  this can't be going anywhere good

  (571): View more from Virginia

  nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah.. (703): this can't be going anywhere good (571): nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\ http://tfl.nu/4i13
  Replies (196) Good night (1774) Bad night (26510)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word http://tfl.nu/dxvq
  Replies (57) Good night (4109) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be http://tfl.nu/xlfe
  Replies (29) Good night (2950) Bad night (1320) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how can getting a pizza be this hard?

  (817): View more from Texas

  when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): how can getting a pizza be this hard? (817): when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible http://tfl.nu/zgw8
  Replies (12) Good night (4982) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself. http://tfl.nu/8ts9
  Replies (72) Good night (2090) Bad night (14225) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story. http://tfl.nu/l5v1
  Replies (8) Good night (6185) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (110) Good night (50601) Bad night (1662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt http://tfl.nu/x2m1
  Replies (35) Good night (3188) Bad night (6576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it. http://tfl.nu/91c2
  Replies (23) Good night (7076) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead. http://tfl.nu/olst
  Replies (39) Good night (5322) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day http://tfl.nu/v7qa
  Replies (39) Good night (5436) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified. http://tfl.nu/evog
  Replies (15) Good night (1403) Bad night (4323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  please don't ever take me to a strip club again...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals... (1-217): please don't ever take me to a strip club again... http://tfl.nu/2ds8
  Replies (29) Good night (5839) Bad night (1538)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee (1-440): please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation http://tfl.nu/gydk
  Replies (78) Good night (6209) Bad night (6700) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (225) Good night (7503) Bad night (72136)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this http://tfl.nu/8egt
  Replies (148) Good night (6881) Bad night (69193)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today http://tfl.nu/mtu3
  Replies (17) Good night (1043) Bad night (9203) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? http://tfl.nu/2pix
  Replies (104) Good night (38280) Bad night (1721)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat http://tfl.nu/x2jk
  Replies (30) Good night (5798) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  we're chasing vodka with high fives

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): we're chasing vodka with high fives http://tfl.nu/2m9s
  Replies (38) Good night (17145) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us? http://tfl.nu/rk36
  Replies (25) Good night (4394) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches http://tfl.nu/86sw
  Replies (25) Good night (3519) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer. http://tfl.nu/fm8w
  Replies (64) Good night (8941) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab. http://tfl.nu/smzr
  Replies (7) Good night (1769) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier? http://tfl.nu/2449
  Replies (183) Good night (5131) Bad night (6822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made http://tfl.nu/a7md
  Replies (46) Good night (1110) Bad night (6574) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat... http://tfl.nu/oev5
  Replies (7) Good night (516) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition. http://tfl.nu/fwuo
  Replies (13) Good night (9706) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex". http://tfl.nu/7v4e
  Replies (56) Good night (30092) Bad night (1408) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?

  (408): View more from California

  we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why? (408): we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try. http://tfl.nu/v7dh
  Replies (21) Good night (547) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back? http://tfl.nu/0voi
  Replies (35) Good night (723) Bad night (3354) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY. http://tfl.nu/e2x6
  Replies (29) Good night (2746) Bad night (6855) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

  (1-559): View more from California

  That depends on who this is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true? (1-559): That depends on who this is. http://tfl.nu/a6jm
  Replies (42) Good night (14364) Bad night (1861) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.

  (917): View more from New York City

  I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God. (917): I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice. http://tfl.nu/jdh1
  Replies (122) Good night (3060) Bad night (15116)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened... http://tfl.nu/apd0
  Replies (17) Good night (5778) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself. http://tfl.nu/t99x
  Replies (16) Good night (3414) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song http://tfl.nu/2x4f
  Replies (25) Good night (9645) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese. (717): Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days? http://tfl.nu/n2pa
  Replies (6) Good night (3336) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars? http://tfl.nu/0mdx
  Replies (56) Good night (26238) Bad night (1528) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA. http://tfl.nu/w336
  Replies (52) Good night (1732) Bad night (3950) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight http://tfl.nu/30xi
  Replies (16) Good night (4278) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do. http://tfl.nu/vxoj
  Replies (16) Good night (3174) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt