That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This beer is not sobering me up at all
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.