Texts From Last Night

bunny420's Favorites Texts:

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.

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  (765): I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro. http://tfl.nu/6pjm
  Replies (10) Good night (3122) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.

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  (913): My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/e4gb
  Replies (8) Good night (1768) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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  (505): Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport http://tfl.nu/iu8r
  Replies (9) Good night (5197) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.

  (917): View more from New York City

  me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.

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  (317): Sitting here wishing there were men in my life. (917): me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time. http://tfl.nu/mpan
  Replies (21) Good night (1365) Bad night (5224)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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  (716): I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine. http://tfl.nu/zg3z
  Replies (9) Good night (3595) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.

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  (920): You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day. http://tfl.nu/y8lp
  Replies (9) Good night (2683) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.

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  (614): lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name. http://tfl.nu/tsk6
  Replies (6) Good night (2131) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick

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  (909): I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick http://tfl.nu/j8ox
  Replies (4) Good night (1187) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem

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  (804): third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem http://tfl.nu/lhco
  Replies (25) Good night (5220) Bad night (1944) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You're such a slut.

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I prefer opportunist.

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  (773): You're such a slut. (318): I prefer opportunist. http://tfl.nu/49c1
  Replies (27) Good night (6412) Bad night (820)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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  (870): I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership. http://tfl.nu/f8ej
  Replies (50) Good night (6491) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.

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  (402): She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time. http://tfl.nu/nker
  Replies (9) Good night (4920) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"

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  (774): i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness" http://tfl.nu/ogi9
  Replies (5) Good night (2850) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

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  (817): I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months" http://tfl.nu/023g
  Replies (5) Good night (2108) Bad night (772)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.

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  (203): She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers. http://tfl.nu/qfx8
  Replies (25) Good night (4564) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...

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  (705): I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender... http://tfl.nu/gykh
  Replies (25) Good night (2351) Bad night (878)
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  (845): View more from New York

  He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.

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  (845): He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver. http://tfl.nu/r9iy
  Replies (39) Good night (10131) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being

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  (440): You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being http://tfl.nu/lse1
  Replies (39) Good night (1618) Bad night (3849) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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  (+61): I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast http://tfl.nu/icj5
  Replies (6) Good night (2337) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".

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  (719): Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby". http://tfl.nu/v0w5
  Replies (14) Good night (4086) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable

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  (248): Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/6hsi
  Replies (3) Good night (1375) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...

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  (319): i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself (612): It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool... http://tfl.nu/lubj
  Replies (7) Good night (2766) Bad night (797)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.

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  (215): Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town. http://tfl.nu/ozti
  Replies (29) Good night (7535) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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  (248): I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you? http://tfl.nu/mhei
  Replies (8) Good night (2029) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.

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  (541): its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again. http://tfl.nu/0bz7
  Replies (10) Good night (4299) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

  (775): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

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  (702): It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me... (775): yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift. http://tfl.nu/mwdt
  Replies (25) Good night (5403) Bad night (713)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches

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  (412): I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches http://tfl.nu/0tvi
  Replies (6) Good night (3876) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.

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  (623): Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes. http://tfl.nu/phpt
  Replies (1) Good night (1546) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight

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  (201): if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight http://tfl.nu/z6vl
  Replies (22) Good night (4254) Bad night (1407) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you have to choose: penises or morals?

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  (617): you have to choose: penises or morals? http://tfl.nu/bzpz
  Replies (21) Good night (3927) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot

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  (413): I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot http://tfl.nu/9cpf
  Replies (78) Good night (6275) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.

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  (310): I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila. http://tfl.nu/yi5v
  Replies (13) Good night (1965) Bad night (5842)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

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  (904): i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night. http://tfl.nu/xd4f
  Replies (22) Good night (6443) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...

  (714): View more from California

  Didn't you just get a DUI last week?

  (818): View more from California

  Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it

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  (818): Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong... (714): Didn't you just get a DUI last week? (818): Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it http://tfl.nu/by7p
  Replies (3) Good night (2612) Bad night (547)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.

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  (315): He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits. http://tfl.nu/w5h8
  Replies (7) Good night (3190) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in a vortex of obligation.

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  (717): I am in a vortex of obligation. http://tfl.nu/iw17
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (1477) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Its about making memories worth repressing

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  (818): Its about making memories worth repressing http://tfl.nu/5fiw
  Replies (1) Good night (2604) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.

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  (352): Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover. http://tfl.nu/82ke
  Replies (19) Good night (1375) Bad night (4607) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?

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  (973): Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet? http://tfl.nu/xg0z
  Replies (11) Good night (4878) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight

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  (847): Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight http://tfl.nu/3mek
  Replies (17) Good night (2986) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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  (630): his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass http://tfl.nu/ujep
  Replies (36) Good night (8542) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.

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  (732): i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry. http://tfl.nu/ss0l
  Replies (13) Good night (8485) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.

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  (919): its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night. http://tfl.nu/phgw
  Replies (73) Good night (8360) Bad night (1290) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Your godly.

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  (403): Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation. (1-403): Your godly. http://tfl.nu/7li2
  Replies (13) Good night (4050) Bad night (926)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  We need to talk about our relationship.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes

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  (575): We need to talk about our relationship. (403): I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes http://tfl.nu/0ub4
  Replies (20) Good night (8826) Bad night (1269)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.

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  (404): Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs. http://tfl.nu/4a67
  Replies (18) Good night (5758) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.

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  (203): Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad. http://tfl.nu/yb7a
  Replies (11) Good night (1224) Bad night (3201) Order T-Shirt