Texts From Last Night · absolut's Favorites

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absolut's Favorites Texts:

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(757): View more from Virginia

you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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(402): View more from Nebraska

your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me

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(707): View more from California

My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."

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(707): View more from California

he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"

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(843): View more from South Carolina

when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage

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(703): View more from Virginia

As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".

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(310): View more from California

ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

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