Texts From Last Night

ruru's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something http://tfl.nu/mg8h
  Replies (35) Good night (5372) Bad night (1538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well. http://tfl.nu/7lfy
  Replies (20) Good night (6998) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets. http://tfl.nu/gp9t
  Replies (21) Good night (7830) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes (1-352): I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos. http://tfl.nu/ch4a
  Replies (13) Good night (7337) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected. http://tfl.nu/ilck
  Replies (53) Good night (991) Bad night (10327) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face. http://tfl.nu/tn6y
  Replies (12) Good night (4746) Bad night (1391) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/fg6t
  Replies (13) Good night (6310) Bad night (1261) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life' http://tfl.nu/863e
  Replies (26) Good night (6564) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved http://tfl.nu/wek7
  Replies (11) Good night (4945) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child http://tfl.nu/48ux
  Replies (31) Good night (7564) Bad night (1125) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting" http://tfl.nu/dmjy
  Replies (25) Good night (14546) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car http://tfl.nu/9e8r
  Replies (38) Good night (8612) Bad night (1652) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated. http://tfl.nu/xw0x
  Replies (17) Good night (16134) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam
  Replies (40) Good night (15812) Bad night (1734) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me. http://tfl.nu/fshf
  Replies (24) Good night (8189) Bad night (1554) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl
  Replies (20) Good night (1249) Bad night (5061)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar http://tfl.nu/nsmi
  Replies (20) Good night (1177) Bad night (5582) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow http://tfl.nu/sj2l
  Replies (13) Good night (5081) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break http://tfl.nu/6afp
  Replies (9) Good night (4227) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious http://tfl.nu/xtk1
  Replies (47) Good night (2380) Bad night (10770)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it http://tfl.nu/tzqh
  Replies (92) Good night (7131) Bad night (1732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would be honored to be that friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people (617): I would be honored to be that friend. http://tfl.nu/ohrl
  Replies (22) Good night (5641) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep. http://tfl.nu/xylt
  Replies (52) Good night (1303) Bad night (7769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish they made helmets for livers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I wish they made helmets for livers. http://tfl.nu/bj92
  Replies (12) Good night (5431) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!

  (1-228): View more from Mississippi

  brownberry?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!! (1-228): brownberry? http://tfl.nu/y1s8
  Replies (19) Good night (1075) Bad night (5687) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh fat girl friday strikes again...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): oh fat girl friday strikes again... http://tfl.nu/rgt0
  Replies (60) Good night (621) Bad night (4099) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration". http://tfl.nu/m5rh
  Replies (87) Good night (48566) Bad night (2731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song. (1-706): I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina. http://tfl.nu/b2qf
  Replies (81) Good night (2407) Bad night (5770) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago. http://tfl.nu/uh8m
  Replies (35) Good night (13118) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see. http://tfl.nu/6fwn
  Replies (52) Good night (4972) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé http://tfl.nu/voe0
  Replies (29) Good night (7364) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick http://tfl.nu/i68n
  Replies (71) Good night (17661) Bad night (3272) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  drunk me is so punny.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life. (843): drunk me is so punny. http://tfl.nu/qdzv
  Replies (19) Good night (8297) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice. http://tfl.nu/ukpc
  Replies (17) Good night (1078) Bad night (4436) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (292) Good night (69192) Bad night (1984) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  pat the guy you slept with

  (314): View more from Missouri

  still need a last name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this? (573): pat the guy you slept with (314): still need a last name http://tfl.nu/e97s
  Replies (53) Good night (10136) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard. http://tfl.nu/iuc0
  Replies (20) Good night (4488) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  I see you've learned your lesson.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status... (1-937): I see you've learned your lesson. http://tfl.nu/pjfr
  Replies (12) Good night (6158) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Maybe....

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Are you pooping in the stall next to me? (404): Maybe.... (540): Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts. http://tfl.nu/wph3
  Replies (82) Good night (3990) Bad night (4789)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  oh, you finally did the dishes then?

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  No, bought new ones.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (980): I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight. (704): oh, you finally did the dishes then? (980): No, bought new ones. http://tfl.nu/21up
  Replies (48) Good night (7233) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone. http://tfl.nu/hjip
  Replies (21) Good night (8022) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent http://tfl.nu/7y58
  Replies (13) Good night (5442) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  "Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): "Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends" http://tfl.nu/crxa
  Replies (17) Good night (4757) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library. http://tfl.nu/bcrx
  Replies (16) Good night (4147) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I gave up sex for lent.

  (646): View more from New York

  I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I gave up sex for lent. (646): I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter. http://tfl.nu/87gp
  Replies (18) Good night (864) Bad night (4131)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them. http://tfl.nu/5z6d
  Replies (37) Good night (6417) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions. http://tfl.nu/7qp6
  Replies (29) Good night (7889) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it

  (206): View more from Washington

  youre the best friend ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it (206): youre the best friend ever http://tfl.nu/6oyc
  Replies (45) Good night (19376) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed http://tfl.nu/eq1c
  Replies (89) Good night (8771) Bad night (1356) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America. http://tfl.nu/b8jy
  Replies (36) Good night (6742) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!" http://tfl.nu/ttkj
  Replies (99) Good night (25095) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt