You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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