Texts From Last Night · tagman699's Favorites

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tagman699's Favorites Texts:

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(813): View more from Florida

hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.

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(207): View more from Maine

I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.

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(518): View more from New York

and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card

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(239): View more from Florida

I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(501): View more from Arkansas

i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there

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(858): View more from California

I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth

(1-858): View more from California

Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?

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(425): View more from Washington

you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it

(206): View more from Washington

youre the best friend ever

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.

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