fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
