Texts From Last Night · kb9312's Favorites

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kb9312's Favorites Texts:

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(226): View more from Ontario

forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

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(404): View more from Georgia

We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.

Fav 6 5961 1226
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

Fav 5 1799 746
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(716): View more from New York

You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

Fav 60 1141 18374
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(415): View more from California

There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.

Fav 43 6694 1964
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