STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize
