Texts From Last Night

lacey1111's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): come over i need a lifeguard for my shower http://tfl.nu/1qns
  Replies (29) Good night (9240) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning. http://tfl.nu/g9g5
  Replies (19) Good night (8541) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

  (714): View more from California

  Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Doctor said I have sports induced asthma. (714): Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape." http://tfl.nu/hfcj
  Replies (37) Good night (9275) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train. http://tfl.nu/vfk6
  Replies (23) Good night (10995) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands. http://tfl.nu/3psd
  Replies (19) Good night (1129) Bad night (4085) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again http://tfl.nu/8319
  Replies (22) Good night (2049) Bad night (4785) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies? http://tfl.nu/c806
  Replies (6) Good night (2773) Bad night (258) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a beautiful day for a hangover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): It's a beautiful day for a hangover http://tfl.nu/x1e7
  Replies (32) Good night (4214) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls? (636): anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence http://tfl.nu/1u56
  Replies (32) Good night (8222) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ikem
  Replies (26) Good night (603) Bad night (3553) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  what the hell does that mean?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here (1-208): what the hell does that mean? (208): nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages http://tfl.nu/of9o
  Replies (26) Good night (2253) Bad night (3584)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call. http://tfl.nu/3web
  Replies (69) Good night (5280) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me. http://tfl.nu/qxca
  Replies (27) Good night (5829) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this? http://tfl.nu/lrwi
  Replies (27) Good night (318) Bad night (4336) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  "reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): "reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time. http://tfl.nu/in1x
  Replies (15) Good night (4107) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one http://tfl.nu/sg9e
  Replies (18) Good night (7169) Bad night (1204) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to." http://tfl.nu/qnhd
  Replies (16) Good night (1561) Bad night (5251) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication http://tfl.nu/40rd
  Replies (16) Good night (8635) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I love sluts.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I end my prayers with that every single night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I love sluts. (402): I end my prayers with that every single night. http://tfl.nu/8il0
  Replies (8) Good night (3506) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future. http://tfl.nu/4ejh
  Replies (32) Good night (1399) Bad night (3684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!

  (360): View more from Washington

  let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd! (360): let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off. http://tfl.nu/xgs8
  Replies (22) Good night (1660) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet http://tfl.nu/qd88
  Replies (25) Good night (3792) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally. http://tfl.nu/x2ht
  Replies (17) Good night (977) Bad night (3258) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville... http://tfl.nu/5ia7
  Replies (26) Good night (336) Bad night (3505) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow http://tfl.nu/sj2l
  Replies (13) Good night (5081) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  What are you wearing to our high school reunion?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): What are you wearing to our high school reunion? (678): I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?" http://tfl.nu/i3zg
  Replies (27) Good night (4156) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You can't wash away shame.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I can try.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): You can't wash away shame. (1-781): I can try. http://tfl.nu/os07
  Replies (7) Good night (1048) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe
  Replies (46) Good night (12575) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion http://tfl.nu/5o7j
  Replies (15) Good night (4809) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties http://tfl.nu/njvs
  Replies (5) Good night (1767) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear." http://tfl.nu/uaxy
  Replies (19) Good night (8817) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met (1-319): thanks it was an honor just to be nominated http://tfl.nu/yswc
  Replies (36) Good night (10338) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): We're like two naked peas in a sex pod. http://tfl.nu/sqen
  Replies (23) Good night (6054) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me. http://tfl.nu/adnf
  Replies (16) Good night (688) Bad night (4283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. http://tfl.nu/zho9
  Replies (208) Good night (49123) Bad night (2152) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the red head has a bf

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score http://tfl.nu/bdta
  Replies (117) Good night (43644) Bad night (2951) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting. http://tfl.nu/c1w6
  Replies (139) Good night (42580) Bad night (8882)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (285) Good night (60322) Bad night (3668)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight http://tfl.nu/znt4
  Replies (27) Good night (6153) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  ugh. my soul tastes like vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): ugh. my soul tastes like vodka http://tfl.nu/d0v0
  Replies (9) Good night (4102) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think... (985): wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb http://tfl.nu/zhoe
  Replies (13) Good night (562) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher! http://tfl.nu/zrl8
  Replies (34) Good night (6425) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  You better have your party panties on Saturday!

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  Why only Saturday?

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): You better have your party panties on Saturday! (1-205): Why only Saturday? (205): Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri. http://tfl.nu/ifn7
  Replies (26) Good night (3921) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

  (330): View more from Ohio

  well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e
  Replies (25) Good night (4728) Bad night (359)