We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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