Texts From Last Night · dooter780's Favorites

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dooter780's Favorites Texts:

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it

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(917): View more from New York City

I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...

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(914): View more from New York

she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"

Fav 41 14362 1969
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf

Fav 44 15604 1980
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

Fav 32 18757 1876
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