Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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