Texts From Last Night · pretzelman's Favorites

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pretzelman's Favorites Texts:

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(408): View more from California

Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape

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(815): View more from Illinois

Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.

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(415): View more from California

sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

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