Texts From Last Night · csmith's Favorites

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csmith's Favorites Texts:

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(703): View more from Virginia

Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him

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(703): Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him http://tfl.nu/ek6e

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(540): View more from Virginia

i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing

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(540): i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing http://tfl.nu/o77s

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"

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(401): No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out" http://tfl.nu/ac7g

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(503): View more from Oregon

He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?

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(503): He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off? http://tfl.nu/40hd

Replies (9) Good night (3985) Bad night (553)
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(216): View more from Ohio

When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.

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(216): When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning. http://tfl.nu/aoha

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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(604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma

Replies (34) Good night (1843) Bad night (2251)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.

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(678): So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God. http://tfl.nu/decj

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(905): View more from Ontario

i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself

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(905): i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself http://tfl.nu/s870

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(240): View more from Maryland

We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.

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(240): We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course. http://tfl.nu/y9iu

Replies (54) Good night (15092) Bad night (956)
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(212): View more from New York

yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"

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(212): yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer" http://tfl.nu/u5kx

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(845): View more from New York

i can't find my house

(1-845): View more from New York

we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.

(845): View more from New York

i'm pretty sure my house moved.

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(845): i can't find my house (1-845): we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago. (845): i'm pretty sure my house moved. http://tfl.nu/nzng

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A

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(612): I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A http://tfl.nu/yjw5

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(585): View more from New York

we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist

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(585): we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist http://tfl.nu/e75m

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.

(803): View more from South Carolina

I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops

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(803): I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me. (803): I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops http://tfl.nu/kudg

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(419): View more from Ohio

then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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(419): then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!" http://tfl.nu/taup

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(518): View more from New York

you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was

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(518): you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was http://tfl.nu/ydfc

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(989): View more from Michigan

no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".

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(989): no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed". http://tfl.nu/dmqo

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.

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(413): the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings. http://tfl.nu/xbcs

Replies (11) Good night (8460) Bad night (636)
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(323): View more from California

You got in a fight last night?

(818): View more from California

Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

(323): View more from California

Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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(323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09

Replies (128) Good night (7629) Bad night (22864)
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(281): View more from Texas

His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled

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(281): His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled http://tfl.nu/gplx

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(913): View more from Kansas

hows the party?

(816): View more from Missouri

ists fjcssing insceredle

(913): View more from Kansas

be there in 10

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(913): hows the party? (816): ists fjcssing insceredle (913): be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/innz

Replies (60) Good night (25206) Bad night (829)
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(415): View more from California

Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.

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(415): Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting. http://tfl.nu/yl2c

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(347): View more from New York

I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN

(347): View more from New York

I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN

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(347): I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN (347): I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/s3su

Replies (41) Good night (10622) Bad night (1852)
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(305): View more from Florida

Party in the USA is so catchy!

(863): View more from Florida

Yea, so is AIDS.

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(305): Party in the USA is so catchy! (863): Yea, so is AIDS. http://tfl.nu/nzzd

Replies (86) Good night (10939) Bad night (1616)
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(443): View more from Maryland

We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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(443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi

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csmith's Favorites Texts:

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