Texts From Last Night

gabeg14's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard. http://tfl.nu/tszy
  Replies (17) Good night (4222) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest. http://tfl.nu/68lv
  Replies (22) Good night (5274) Bad night (3125) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea http://tfl.nu/why3
  Replies (9) Good night (2127) Bad night (1096) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you http://tfl.nu/i385
  Replies (12) Good night (3833) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/u4oj
  Replies (8) Good night (2643) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house http://tfl.nu/3ff4
  Replies (40) Good night (7744) Bad night (1147) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood. http://tfl.nu/ro5l
  Replies (9) Good night (5019) Bad night (1267) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong http://tfl.nu/17fl
  Replies (11) Good night (3039) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that. http://tfl.nu/smq4
  Replies (6) Good night (2058) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck. http://tfl.nu/z7fe
  Replies (21) Good night (8161) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex. http://tfl.nu/exbo
  Replies (24) Good night (4113) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  and then he started using my ass as a stressball

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): and then he started using my ass as a stressball http://tfl.nu/q5mx
  Replies (16) Good night (3472) Bad night (1293) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now http://tfl.nu/wp4u
  Replies (35) Good night (7322) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures. http://tfl.nu/ybaw
  Replies (13) Good night (3983) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride? http://tfl.nu/qrch
  Replies (118) Good night (893) Bad night (8324)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up http://tfl.nu/zoaj
  Replies (26) Good night (965) Bad night (2796) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky. http://tfl.nu/4mz4
  Replies (263) Good night (2499) Bad night (27240) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye. http://tfl.nu/rr5f
  Replies (53) Good night (2545) Bad night (4330) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ? http://tfl.nu/m6rh
  Replies (9) Good night (527) Bad night (2445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp
  Replies (50) Good night (3558) Bad night (5351) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm. http://tfl.nu/bk02
  Replies (6) Good night (2109) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs. http://tfl.nu/5epb
  Replies (10) Good night (3835) Bad night (1564) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do. http://tfl.nu/0i65
  Replies (13) Good night (6506) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up http://tfl.nu/d7fo
  Replies (25) Good night (655) Bad night (5419) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice. http://tfl.nu/3g7h
  Replies (13) Good night (2986) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man. http://tfl.nu/y0hn
  Replies (16) Good night (761) Bad night (5580) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/uegr
  Replies (11) Good night (5249) Bad night (1188) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory http://tfl.nu/jj42
  Replies (20) Good night (1110) Bad night (4504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.

  (207): View more from Maine

  sorry im really high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage. (207): sorry im really high http://tfl.nu/3k8n
  Replies (11) Good night (944) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids http://tfl.nu/tr3o
  Replies (38) Good night (9360) Bad night (1419) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  You should get sea herpes

  (831): View more from California

  I mean sea horses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): You should get sea herpes (831): I mean sea horses http://tfl.nu/2vm6
  Replies (21) Good night (3647) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up. http://tfl.nu/8mdh
  Replies (4) Good night (3372) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Marry him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song. (1-503): Marry him http://tfl.nu/vquy
  Replies (39) Good night (9134) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not. http://tfl.nu/ari1
  Replies (15) Good night (694) Bad night (7373) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that. http://tfl.nu/a94h
  Replies (16) Good night (1593) Bad night (3880) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high http://tfl.nu/0yq2
  Replies (90) Good night (11908) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian. http://tfl.nu/smlz
  Replies (24) Good night (2612) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  no, he came in my armpit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): no, he came in my armpit http://tfl.nu/0ngk
  Replies (29) Good night (1279) Bad night (9999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet. http://tfl.nu/fwq9
  Replies (20) Good night (6416) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city http://tfl.nu/k6ti
  Replies (38) Good night (11931) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak http://tfl.nu/y31q
  Replies (18) Good night (1161) Bad night (5135) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage. http://tfl.nu/1an1
  Replies (3) Good night (2230) Bad night (1089) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants. http://tfl.nu/tdj1
  Replies (13) Good night (5232) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone http://tfl.nu/1ml1
  Replies (20) Good night (974) Bad night (6072) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch. http://tfl.nu/wzxh
  Replies (12) Good night (1010) Bad night (5137) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me http://tfl.nu/9tpu
  Replies (15) Good night (6125) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on? http://tfl.nu/pffh
  Replies (54) Good night (9920) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  she said she was living bicuriously through me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): she said she was living bicuriously through me. http://tfl.nu/luix
  Replies (14) Good night (3878) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man http://tfl.nu/g1rm
  Replies (12) Good night (3175) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis http://tfl.nu/fz5v
  Replies (6) Good night (5835) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important. http://tfl.nu/a970
  Replies (7) Good night (4030) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses http://tfl.nu/vxdn
  Replies (4) Good night (4946) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. http://tfl.nu/937u
  Replies (9) Good night (5058) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt