Texts From Last Night

pats1918's Favorites Texts:

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...

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  (330): So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers... http://tfl.nu/y9ah
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night

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  (314): I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night http://tfl.nu/ebah
  Replies (6) Good night (2307) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.

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  (847): No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it. http://tfl.nu/l9mq
  Replies (9) Good night (4121) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend

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  (562): she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ejvb
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night

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  (608): He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night http://tfl.nu/for8
  Replies (9) Good night (4704) Bad night (1478) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?

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  (779): should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark? http://tfl.nu/0hyg
  Replies (8) Good night (3499) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.

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  (937): Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream. http://tfl.nu/kpop
  Replies (8) Good night (979) Bad night (2785) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.

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  (513): Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team. http://tfl.nu/vssn
  Replies (7) Good night (3155) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.

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  (402): Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job. http://tfl.nu/cd1b
  Replies (15) Good night (2424) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.

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  (252): just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far. http://tfl.nu/f1u5
  Replies (20) Good night (4019) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever

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  (814): Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever http://tfl.nu/615b
  Replies (11) Good night (5582) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now

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  (570): Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now http://tfl.nu/j96j
  Replies (41) Good night (6267) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.

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  (413): im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone. http://tfl.nu/9w3d
  Replies (8) Good night (3634) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.

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  (703): I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/n7jh
  Replies (23) Good night (5463) Bad night (1743)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady

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  (250): there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady http://tfl.nu/zjtt
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (2282) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..

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  (585): I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking.. http://tfl.nu/q39t
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes

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  (+44): what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes http://tfl.nu/x7um
  Replies (7) Good night (3191) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.

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  (810): GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK. http://tfl.nu/7sxv
  Replies (9) Good night (6518) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

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  (570): Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage. http://tfl.nu/7s6f
  Replies (12) Good night (4299) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  and then ....

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.

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  (215): he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas. (1-215): and then .... (215): he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut. http://tfl.nu/qu6h
  Replies (24) Good night (5898) Bad night (1428)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.

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  (407): Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine. http://tfl.nu/l8j9
  Replies (19) Good night (1245) Bad night (2716) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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  (804): Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night? http://tfl.nu/x7lh
  Replies (7) Good night (5000) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again

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  (775): FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again http://tfl.nu/fzl1
  Replies (25) Good night (6525) Bad night (1090) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.

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  (615): I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag. http://tfl.nu/vhx8
  Replies (8) Good night (4893) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.

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  (704): I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home. http://tfl.nu/daw2
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (2200) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth

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  (804): you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth http://tfl.nu/ftsz
  Replies (7) Good night (962) Bad night (3693) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...

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  (414): Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes... http://tfl.nu/m3ok
  Replies (11) Good night (666) Bad night (4494) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date

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  (812): obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date http://tfl.nu/sjjn
  Replies (19) Good night (5069) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

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  (516): There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face http://tfl.nu/9y4h
  Replies (55) Good night (21364) Bad night (1237) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.

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  (865): Now go wash the fat girl off your hands. http://tfl.nu/sym9
  Replies (17) Good night (988) Bad night (4165) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.

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  (478): I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been. http://tfl.nu/xper
  Replies (3) Good night (800) Bad night (2596) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

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  (828): then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge http://tfl.nu/hh8c
  Replies (10) Good night (4087) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin

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  (919): He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin http://tfl.nu/8jd6
  Replies (17) Good night (2822) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME

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  (914): Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME http://tfl.nu/u7n7
  Replies (16) Good night (3924) Bad night (1141) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.

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  (402): Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance. http://tfl.nu/wzxx
  Replies (8) Good night (923) Bad night (2673) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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  (805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1594) Bad night (3416) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"

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  (903): I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk" http://tfl.nu/2chc
  Replies (5) Good night (686) Bad night (2138) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.

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  (660): Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes. http://tfl.nu/p00s
  Replies (9) Good night (3972) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?

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  (404): What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender? http://tfl.nu/bcp3
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  (718): View more from New York

  He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.

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  (718): He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter. http://tfl.nu/o453
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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  (978): If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises. http://tfl.nu/xzxa
  Replies (8) Good night (3964) Bad night (1319) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups

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  (651): i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups http://tfl.nu/8ph5
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex

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  (314): For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex http://tfl.nu/vblx
  Replies (20) Good night (1131) Bad night (4394)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of

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  (253): That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of http://tfl.nu/x3nm
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.

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  (512): You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication. http://tfl.nu/dq9l
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.

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  (317): I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting. http://tfl.nu/kkkr
  Replies (25) Good night (3609) Bad night (2687) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.

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  (605): You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/7njn
  Replies (30) Good night (10384) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt