Texts From Last Night

xcaseypaigex's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies. http://tfl.nu/7qkv
  Replies (17) Good night (1880) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants. http://tfl.nu/trrn
  Replies (87) Good night (1631) Bad night (20010)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (131) Good night (8266) Bad night (23694)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me". http://tfl.nu/jl9f
  Replies (210) Good night (31717) Bad night (2853)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73373) Bad night (2464) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top. http://tfl.nu/vbez
  Replies (19) Good night (4888) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free. http://tfl.nu/j1zd
  Replies (20) Good night (8299) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (389): View more from

  So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (389): So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut" http://tfl.nu/g5tq
  Replies (4) Good night (1082) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/41un
  Replies (5) Good night (2016) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off... http://tfl.nu/kran
  Replies (6) Good night (3371) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night http://tfl.nu/9n0e
  Replies (8) Good night (5188) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes. http://tfl.nu/pvjr
  Replies (43) Good night (3266) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes. http://tfl.nu/m034
  Replies (3) Good night (1692) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (508) Good night (86069) Bad night (8377)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius. http://tfl.nu/jxsz
  Replies (18) Good night (4788) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  he quoted Bring It On. It's over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): he quoted Bring It On. It's over. http://tfl.nu/r2ms
  Replies (10) Good night (710) Bad night (2418) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH! http://tfl.nu/111h
  Replies (66) Good night (1072) Bad night (16855) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard

  (1-510): View more from California

  Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard (1-510): Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening. http://tfl.nu/lvw9
  Replies (5) Good night (2288) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw http://tfl.nu/9zj1
  Replies (32) Good night (8091) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience. http://tfl.nu/jxin
  Replies (73) Good night (4247) Bad night (6329)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that? http://tfl.nu/e4u9
  Replies (19) Good night (2583) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference http://tfl.nu/95t7
  Replies (4) Good night (2105) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!" http://tfl.nu/ttkj
  Replies (99) Good night (26274) Bad night (1166) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops http://tfl.nu/ldeo
  Replies (19) Good night (12589) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142145) Bad night (9312) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts? http://tfl.nu/w182
  Replies (21) Good night (8705) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave. (702): now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like" http://tfl.nu/f7jt
  Replies (17) Good night (8131) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on http://tfl.nu/khmy
  Replies (8) Good night (4139) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Every day of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer? (1-513): Every day of my life. http://tfl.nu/2brt
  Replies (12) Good night (4520) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss

  (301): View more from Maryland

  OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?

  (518): View more from New York

  Doritoesssssss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss (301): OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with? (518): Doritoesssssss http://tfl.nu/528p
  Replies (41) Good night (13047) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning. http://tfl.nu/g9g5
  Replies (19) Good night (8881) Bad night (1030) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk! http://tfl.nu/z1cd
  Replies (27) Good night (9067) Bad night (3963) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please? (443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag? http://tfl.nu/5o6h
  Replies (134) Good night (12903) Bad night (25544)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (485) Good night (173028) Bad night (6898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168253) Bad night (42158) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible http://tfl.nu/51ze
  Replies (22) Good night (506) Bad night (2845) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You? http://tfl.nu/i2et
  Replies (26) Good night (7269) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures http://tfl.nu/pect
  Replies (39) Good night (14403) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages http://tfl.nu/95a0
  Replies (44) Good night (5910) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt