Texts From Last Night

cupkate's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option. (512): That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too. http://tfl.nu/lz3p
  Replies (9) Good night (2773) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar. http://tfl.nu/j1fg
  Replies (12) Good night (4688) Bad night (1281) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again. http://tfl.nu/1y07
  Replies (24) Good night (7093) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  oh. my. god. yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life. (1-360): oh. my. god. yes. http://tfl.nu/jrnd
  Replies (14) Good night (5657) Bad night (1295) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice. http://tfl.nu/unne
  Replies (7) Good night (3347) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  how was ur day?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): how was ur day? (405): this is strictly sexting don't make small talk. http://tfl.nu/95h7
  Replies (13) Good night (6331) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home. http://tfl.nu/scuu
  Replies (13) Good night (3975) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies http://tfl.nu/62p5
  Replies (12) Good night (3997) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps? http://tfl.nu/jolf
  Replies (13) Good night (4112) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom. http://tfl.nu/x6uc
  Replies (17) Good night (3539) Bad night (1264) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me. http://tfl.nu/wdvy
  Replies (15) Good night (7915) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina http://tfl.nu/0ynp
  Replies (23) Good night (7161) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed. http://tfl.nu/uy5s
  Replies (8) Good night (3513) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested. http://tfl.nu/vry7
  Replies (15) Good night (4667) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right http://tfl.nu/du0e
  Replies (24) Good night (6031) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos... http://tfl.nu/fyfs
  Replies (9) Good night (2846) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles. http://tfl.nu/gk69
  Replies (29) Good night (6699) Bad night (961) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top. http://tfl.nu/vbez
  Replies (19) Good night (4887) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother" http://tfl.nu/4czs
  Replies (13) Good night (6804) Bad night (1810) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy. http://tfl.nu/vwp7
  Replies (14) Good night (4178) Bad night (1277) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/jp0c
  Replies (2) Good night (2720) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  What do you think it is?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): What do you think it is? (615): It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow. http://tfl.nu/3ng4
  Replies (12) Good night (4875) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (458): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/m88d
  Replies (22) Good night (5863) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  ugh yes i love our date nights

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey (1-814): ugh yes i love our date nights http://tfl.nu/d1p8
  Replies (4) Good night (2944) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Chalk up having sex in a car wash.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Chalk up having sex in a car wash. http://tfl.nu/k9pw
  Replies (11) Good night (3027) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever. http://tfl.nu/md7w
  Replies (30) Good night (11883) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me. http://tfl.nu/ey2n
  Replies (16) Good night (5692) Bad night (1712)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Actually, she's fat now, so...

  (817): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but... (1-817): Actually, she's fat now, so... (817): Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson. http://tfl.nu/7993
  Replies (27) Good night (1716) Bad night (4879)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis. http://tfl.nu/m2ek
  Replies (15) Good night (6027) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck. http://tfl.nu/z7fe
  Replies (21) Good night (8153) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah" http://tfl.nu/ebyl
  Replies (14) Good night (5202) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead. http://tfl.nu/ixsn
  Replies (3) Good night (2422) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You coming home soon, man?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  HENBARSCLOSE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): You coming home soon, man? (1-902): HENBARSCLOSE http://tfl.nu/z787
  Replies (7) Good night (3914) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this. http://tfl.nu/xlyp
  Replies (6) Good night (3228) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused." http://tfl.nu/qcvq
  Replies (12) Good night (11352) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work. http://tfl.nu/czmo
  Replies (7) Good night (3498) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/tjlf
  Replies (15) Good night (6806) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail. http://tfl.nu/p81z
  Replies (5) Good night (4555) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew. http://tfl.nu/1b9c
  Replies (30) Good night (7909) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis. http://tfl.nu/iwbw
  Replies (5) Good night (4040) Bad night (1401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice http://tfl.nu/bo72
  Replies (15) Good night (5635) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time http://tfl.nu/icsx
  Replies (15) Good night (3909) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids http://tfl.nu/kt7c
  Replies (6) Good night (681) Bad night (3541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s
  Replies (13) Good night (7945) Bad night (1054)