Texts From Last Night

minx1005's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face http://tfl.nu/4e48
  Replies (38) Good night (4184) Bad night (1209) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa http://tfl.nu/4mlw
  Replies (79) Good night (13444) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later. http://tfl.nu/9zcr
  Replies (33) Good night (10657) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real http://tfl.nu/vc07
  Replies (62) Good night (7539) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster. http://tfl.nu/wnb4
  Replies (24) Good night (7158) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm... http://tfl.nu/bp9a
  Replies (39) Good night (5173) Bad night (1177) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): how does Santa get into Hogwarts? http://tfl.nu/z515
  Replies (47) Good night (5689) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/h1yk
  Replies (8) Good night (2783) Bad night (1348) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy http://tfl.nu/vv9t
  Replies (23) Good night (6908) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better. http://tfl.nu/j6r0
  Replies (17) Good night (784) Bad night (4645) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/gemh
  Replies (15) Good night (725) Bad night (5620) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there. http://tfl.nu/pbyg
  Replies (14) Good night (5854) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time

  (972): View more from Texas

  i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time (972): i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!" http://tfl.nu/dprb
  Replies (22) Good night (9122) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions... http://tfl.nu/wg6s
  Replies (41) Good night (7773) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank... http://tfl.nu/1rf9
  Replies (59) Good night (602) Bad night (4897) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation http://tfl.nu/knkc
  Replies (12) Good night (2168) Bad night (2906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him

  (313): View more from Michigan

  at least he gets points for a creative booty call

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him (313): at least he gets points for a creative booty call http://tfl.nu/28qp
  Replies (16) Good night (7013) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking. http://tfl.nu/rroe
  Replies (24) Good night (2189) Bad night (4358) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat. http://tfl.nu/b45i
  Replies (29) Good night (4990) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower. http://tfl.nu/yzkb
  Replies (44) Good night (11625) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q
  Replies (74) Good night (3543) Bad night (17368) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  explains the nose bleeds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose. (1-901): explains the nose bleeds. http://tfl.nu/i1j5
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (3430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that. http://tfl.nu/622i
  Replies (20) Good night (2141) Bad night (4385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q6i0
  Replies (17) Good night (3781) Bad night (1533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself. http://tfl.nu/ays9
  Replies (34) Good night (662) Bad night (6321) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz http://tfl.nu/sutg
  Replies (86) Good night (15269) Bad night (2447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm http://tfl.nu/t2ln
  Replies (105) Good night (8701) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night. http://tfl.nu/2trw
  Replies (47) Good night (8145) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song. http://tfl.nu/556m
  Replies (16) Good night (3889) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place. http://tfl.nu/cfbh
  Replies (19) Good night (789) Bad night (4562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably (1-404): No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars http://tfl.nu/q62q
  Replies (6) Good night (5389) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Good thing spelling doesn't count.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test. (319): Good thing spelling doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/8f4i
  Replies (23) Good night (6208) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas... http://tfl.nu/emnc
  Replies (18) Good night (625) Bad night (7148) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again. http://tfl.nu/1qgn
  Replies (75) Good night (20722) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!" http://tfl.nu/79w8
  Replies (37) Good night (9429) Bad night (1867) Order T-Shirt