I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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