non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper