I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
